On a whim I called a free therapy help line from a poster at work.

I never initiate interactions with anyone unless it’s required, I only ever respond because I am terrified of ruining someone else’s day by forcing them to deal with me. The idea that I might annoy or bother someone is terrifying and nauseating, so I just… don’t do it.

In talking with the therapist, we made a connection between this neurotic impulse and my dysphoria. I started my transition at 29 (lol), so I have almost two decades of hating the way I look and sound (and feel and act and dress and). I suspect that I projected this dysphoria onto everyone else too, subconsciously assuming everyone else hated the way I look and sound as much as I do. Now that I’m a few years into my transition and I don’t feel that way anymore, I’m slowly learning to stop projecting that onto everyone else too! Slowly. 😅

https://canvas.toast.ooo is still for a few hours i think

Well, if it weren’t for my shyness and lack of self-esteem, I wouldn’t be on course to be officially more virgin than Jesus of Nazareth

All I need are my tavernai friends