If everyone had a bidet how much more fresh water would we waste ? We need to go to the seashells like in demolition man. Toilet paper and bidets waste resources, sea shells not so much.

Dude just get a bidet thing that you can install under your toilet seat. Just get one, don’t question it! Best 30 € I’ve ever spent!

The thing is that with this you don’t have to clean your ass anymore, it just does it by itself! You don’t have to do anything anymore 💁‍♂️ and it’s really not strange to use it. One may think it would feel strange but you’ll see. Just get one! Everyone should have one 💁‍♂️😂

I love my bidet. Since the bidet came into my life I feel unclean after using a non-bidet toilet, even after using wet wipes. Imagine never having monkey-butt (an itchy asshole}. No more skid marks either.

Others have described the normal use of a bidet. I’m here to tell you about advanced bidet techniques. The first is learning the mini enema. You need a bidet with a water jet nozzle. Position yourself so the jet hits the bullseye. Slowly raise the water pressure until it starts filling your rectum with water. This is the hard part - relax. Your initial response will be to clinch shut the ol’ brown eye. When full, turn off the water and let loose in the bowl. Repeat as needed. This cleanses the rectum and prevents those times when you feel like there’s still some poop up inside that won’t come out (because there is). It also prevents anal leakage that produces butt butter.

Once you’ve mastered the mini enema, you can use the technique to battle constipation. Squirt some water in that stuffed up bunghole, fill up, hold it in, stand up, then sit down and enjoy the relief.

It also provides immediate relief from a burning irritated bowel caused by eating Atomic Hot Wings from Wingstop.

Finally, the feminine wash setting is not just for women! After a sweaty workout where you don’t have time for a proper shower, use it to wash your balls. That prevents itchy balls and the embarrassment of being caught scratching them.

The one attached to my toilet has this setup to keep it from getting dirty: there’s a plastic barrier in front of the nozzle, which has a mechanism that causes it to pop out from underneath the barrier when water is flowing through it, and retract back behind the barrier when the water is shut off.

I have a Toto that has a remote to let me control the flow, and it has a blow dryer for my bum. It’s self-cleaning and also has a heated seat. When society collapses it will be the the object I miss most. Haven’t used a poop knife in years.