saved himself a quarter by not usin one of them fancy suicide booths
That could have been the poor man’s plan all along. Suicide by cop. Local PD is just providing a free service. If only there was another way.
Oh sht. The cops were the good guys all along. They’re angels sent by God to take us all to heaven 🙏🙏🙏
/s (I’m going to vomit from having to type that)
Unethical life pro tip: want to kill yourself but left something for your family? Buy a life insurance policy, call the suicide prevention hotline and wait for the cops to kill you. Isn’t technically suicide, so the life insurer can’t deny your family claim!!
In all seriousness does the insurance still pay it if it’s suicide by cop?
Or pay off the corner to list your death as natural causes or something.
Like my uncle did.
Auto correct got me again. Coroner.
For those that are genuinely confused, there’s two very important things you must know. The coroner is the job title for the guy who writes up what caused you to die. They do things like autopsies (when required), and they’re basically a doctor for dead people.
The other thing is the English idiom of “paying [someone] off”, which is basically a common way to not so subtley say that you’re bribing them.
So in plain language: there is an extremely good chance that my uncle bribed the coroner to ignore whatever he found on my uncle when he died and say he perished from natural causes. This normally implies something about self deletion and insurance, since insurance basically never pays out if you die by your own hands.
Is anyone still confused? Please let me know if you are and I can address any part of this that might not be crystal clear.
At least in Canada life insurance will still cover you committing suicide, but it has to occur 1-2 years after your plan starts.
I kinda legit want to check the conditions of my current life insurance policies regarding suicide. Not because I want to off myself today, but because I do want to off myself if I get the stage four diagnosis or some such thing.
