Imagine being stuck in your “I am the provider of this family” gender role so much that you turn down this kind of offer.
People underestimate the value of decent family benefits and the cost of child care. The benefits of having a stay at home parent breaks even way sooner than people think.
Depends on where in the world you are. Pre-kindergarten-daycare for a toddler costs about 300 € where I am, so two working parents are taking home way more than they have to pay additionally.
12 million? Pfft. Just a small fraction of that is more than fine. My wife makes ~$150k a year as a therapist and I am indeed happily that guy. Throw in home school, playing with the kids, running errands, and handling other parental and spousal duties that pop up.
Is it tiring? Yes, quite often. Is it stressful? Yes, sometimes. Is it worth it? Hell yeah.
Do I miss work since I “retired” almost two years ago? Hell no.
As long as life’s basics are covered and there’s a little extra play money it’s all worth it.
I get to make this choice soon. We’re planning on having our first kid soon, and my wife makes way more money than me. She’ll support me whether or not I choose to be a a stay-at-home dad. I appreciate hearing from someone who has been there!
I hemmed and hawed for a few months but what brought me to my decision to leave my career was the extra thousands of hours I would get with my kids as they grow up. That time is just SO much more valuable than money.
Sure, we could make ~250k a year combined, aggressively invest, and enjoy a lavish lifestyle in our 50’s. But at what cost?
So, I spend my days with the kids and my wife works from her in-home therapy office—with dialed-back hours to enjoy 3-day weekends with us. One day we will retire comfortably enough to get a decent RV, travel 1-2x a year, and dig into hobbies. And the trade off for less wealth? We’ll have rock solid relationships with our children with so many fond memories of their childhood—far more than we’d have if we both spent 40+ hours a week working.
As I’m sure you know, it’s an extremely fortunate position to be in. If you choose to resign and take the plunge into SAHD life you can always return to work if you decide it’s just not for you. Good luck!
Oh, and one more thing: I have a book recommendation. I think it should be mandatory reading for all parents. It’s called ‘Playful Parenting: An Exciting New Approach to Raising Children That Will Help You Nurture Close Connections, Solve Behavior Problems, and Encourage Confidence’ by Lawrence J. Cohen, Ph.D. I’m almost done with it. My kids are 7 and 15; I wish I read it years ago but it is what it is.
Wow, that was better than any reply I ever received on Reddit. Thanks for taking the time to respond and sharing your experience. I will definitely check the book out!
I’ve seen variations of this, which seem like the intent is to be progressive, but the $$ is always set to some ridiculous amount (like $12 mil??).
I’d do it for a normal human salary if that’s what my family needed.
Mate, of she’s earning 12m a year we can afford a cleaner. It would be my job to attend her other needs, if you know what I mean.
Be an awesome friend who has her back in everything she needs.
It would be my job to attend her other needs, if you know what I mean.
Yes, go clean the dishes please, sweetheart ;)
Bruh, that’s way past “just hire cleaners” money so
