I have a unique name, think John Doe, and I’m hoping to create a unique and “professional” looking email account like johndoe@gmail.com or john@doe.com. Since my name is common, all reasonable permutations are taken. I was considering purchasing a domain with something unique, then making personal family email accounts for john@mydoe.com jane@mydoe.com etc.

Consider that I’m starting from scratch (I am). Is there a preferred domain registrar, are GoDaddy or NameCheap good enough? Are there prebuilt services I can just point my domain to or do I need to spin up a VPS and install my own services? Are there concerns tying my accounts to a service that might go under or are some “too big to fail”?

I can expand what hangs off the domain later, but for now I just need a way to make my own email addresses and use them with the relative ease of Gmail or others. Thanks in advance!!

72 points

Do NOT self-host email! In the long run, you’ll forget a security patch, someone breaches your server, blasts out spam and you’ll end up on every blacklist imaginable with your domain and server.

Buy a domain, DON’T use GoDaddy, they are bastards. I’d suggest OVH for European domains or Cloudflare for international ones.

After you have your domain, register with “Microsoft 365” or “Google Workspace” (I’d avoid Google, they don’t have a stable offering) or any other E-Mail-Provider that allows custom domains.

Follow their instructions on how to connect your domain to their service (a few MX and TXT records usually suffice) and you’re done.

After that, you can spin up a VPS and try out new stuff and connect it also to your domain (A and CNAMR records).

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11 points

That said, you can use a third party service only for sending, but receive mail on your self-hosted server.

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4 points

That’s what I’m doing. I have selfhosted E-Mail with YunoHost and send it through SMTP2Go.

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I’ve been successfully using SES for a couple years now without issue.

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1 point

Do you have more details on your setup?

I currently selfhost mailcow on a small VPS but I would like to move the receiving part to my homelab and only use a small VPS or service like SES for sending.

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1 point

They rejected me for using for personal notifications. I get being strict but good God let me use your service and if I abuse it shut me down.

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6 points

All good advice. I’d recommended protonmail for mail hosting - got very good experience with them and the onky downside is you have to use their client.

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4 points
*

I was using proton for a while, but they are pretty expensive if you want features like catchall and more aliases, on top of restricting clients.

Migadu offers complete email freedom for $20 ($10 for students) a year, unlimited accounts, aliases, identities, etc. I’ve been very happy with them.

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@avguser@lemmy.world

I’ll second not self hosting email unless you’re in it for the experience.

I’d also strongly caution against hosting email for friends and family unless you want to own that relationship for the rest of your life.

If you do it anyway, you’re going to end up locked into whatever solution you decide for a long time, because now you have users who rely on that solution.

If you still go forward, don’t use Google (or msft). Use a dedicated email service. Having your personal domain tied to those services just further complicates the lock in.

(I did this over a decade ago, with Google, when it was just free vanity domain hosting. I’ve been trying for years to get my users migrated to Gmail accounts.)

If I had it all to do over again. I’d probably setup accounts as vanity forwards to a “real” account for people who wanted them. That’s easy to maintain, move around, and you’re not dealing with migrating peoples oauth to everything when you want to move or stop paying for it.

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1 point

I have a bunch of users (friends and family) on a bunch of different domains. It’s honestly not so bad but yeah, you need a decent dedicated service.

Migrations aren’t simple but aren’t that complicated either (just did one last year).

I mainly need to copy their email over but it’s also a good moment to check they’re using decent passwords and to have them freshen it.

I also need to update their webmail and IMAP/SMTP URLs in their bookmark/email apps but I’ve been playing with DNS CNAMEs for this purpose and it’s mostly working ok (aliasing one of my domains to the provider’s so I only have to update the DNS which I do anyway for a mail migration).

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My mistake was using Google but when it was just the ability to have a personal domain as your google account. But they kept expanding and morphing that into what is now Google Workspace. Migrating people off of that requires them to abandon their Google accounts and start over. If it was just email it would be a much simpler prospect to change backends.

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5 points

I’d avoid Google, they don’t have a stable offering

What you you mean by not stable?

I’ve been (stuck with) Google Workspace for many, many years - I was grandfathered out from the old G-Suite plans. The biggest issue for me is that all my Play store purchases for my Android are tied to my Workspace’s identity, and there’s no way to unhook that if I move.

I want to move. I have serious trust issues with Google. But I can’t stop paying for Workspaces, as it means I’d lose all my Android purchases. It’s Hotel fucking California.

But I’ve always found the email to be stable, reliable, and the spam filtering is top notch (after they acquired and rolled Postini into the service).

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4 points

I tore that bandwidth off a while ago. Same thing with trust issues and google.

Since then I set up a family account and use a regular Gmail account for app store purchases so I can change provider at any time. Can share most of my app purchases with family. I don’t actually check the gmail email. Just use it for Android services.

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2 points

Yeah, that’s the other thing that shits me. Paying for my wife and I on Workspaces, and we don’t have family sharing rights. We’re literally paying to be treated like second-class citizens!

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2 points

I mean, they kill services willy nilly. Sure Gmail will probably survive, but the rest drove me away (Reader, Music, …).

Regarding your Android purchases: At the time of my move I went through my list of apps I bought and tallied the ones up, that I still used. It was less than $50 of repurchases.

Don’t let those old purchases hold you back. Cut this old baggage loose.

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2 points

At the time of my move I went through my list of apps I bought and tallied the ones up, that I still used. It was less than $50 of repurchases.

Yeah, I know this what I should do too. As someone else said in this comment thread, gotta tear that bandaid off at some point. Just shits me that I should have to. But the freedom after doing it… <chef’s kiss>

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1 point

I’d throw in mailbox.org as a more privacy-focused alternative to Google and Microsoft. Been using them for years without issues. Only their 2FA solution sucks.

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1 point

FWIW ive used Google for about ten years for email and have never modified my DNS records. They seem extremely stable.

It’s basically a Gmail account with a custom domain.

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2 points

I did as well, but then I went Microsoft and never looked back. Google’s platform still feels like a shitty startup with missing stuff everywhere, compared to Azure (or AWS).

The only thing I’m missing is Google Photos, but there are self-hosted alternatives out, that I’ll try soon.

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1 point

If you get your domain from OVH, you get one single mailbox (be it with a lot of aliases, like a different email-address for every service/website you use) for free.

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19 points

Yes you need a domain for sure. But you don’t need a server for it, in fact I don’t recommend trying to self-host mail server.

You can use Tuta, Proton Mail, Gmail or iCloud Mail services. You just need to add some DNS records to the domain to redirect mail provider.

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4 points

Cloudflare + protonmail is my setup. Works great and if you buy like 2 years it’s pretty cheap.

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1 point

Yeah I’m also using Proton but I will switch to Tuta because it has more features I think.

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1 point

I just wanted mail and privacy directed.

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16 points
*

Use Cloudflare or PorkBun.com for cheap, no bullshit domains. As for the email host, self hosting not recommended. It’s a long battle to be not blocked by every other provider.

I recommend purelymail.com - no cost to add (even multiple!) custom domains, unlimited users, only pay for mail usage and storage. Go for advanced pricing until it starts costing you more than $10/yr. (Which it shouldn’t if it’s just you. Seriously this thing is cheap!) I just passed my one year anniversary with PurelyMail, and have spent $6 so far. This is my most expensive month, 85¢. And that’s only because I host a public Lemmy instance (small) and we had a few hundred spam signups which sends an email each time.

This will give you a total yearly price WAY under what Google or Microsoft will give you. Google is like, $7.20/user/month.

And if for some reason that service goes down one day, as long as you still have a mail client with your email stored in it you should be able to just switch providers and import your emails from your client. Make some backups.

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6 points
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For anybody interested in more choices for volume-based providers like PurelyMail (with tiers based on storage and emails sent/received but who otherwise allow unlimited domains/mailboxes/aliases) there’s also MXRoute (US) and Migadu (Swiss/EU).

These providers don’t usually make sense for a single mailbox (although some of them have a low entry tier for this purpose) but can be extremely cost-efficient if you need 2 or more mailboxes/domains.

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1 point

I was very tempted to go for this one, but couldn’t find info on whether this was a one-man operation or if there are any disaster recovery plans. Sounds cruel, but if that one single guy my email depends on gets hit by a bus…

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5 points

It is. But as said, for personal email what’s the huge risk? You find a new provider, transfer your DNS records, and upload your old emails.

Make some backups of your emails, you should be anyway.

But they have a specific FAQ for this: https://purelymail.com/docs/companyPolicy#bus

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3 points

Makes sense. I’m happy with my current provider but purelymail is a strong candidate for if I’m out of options.

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13 points

I don’t give my personal email address to literally anyone. Everyone gets an alias.

Once someone gets your personal email address and leaks it, there is no way to stop spam. You cannot delete your personal address because it is your account identity.

Firefox Relay, AnonAddy, SimpleLogin, all great services.

I have a business email address that I’m just unfortunately stuck digging through spam.

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13 points

I tried both hosting my own mail server and using a paid mail hosting with my own domain and I advise against the former.

The reason not to roll out your own mail server is that your email might go to spam at many many common mail services. Servers and domains that don’t usually send out big amount of email are considered suspicious by spam filters and the process of letting other mail servers know that they are there by sending out emails is called warming them up. It’s hard and it takes time… Also, why would you think you can do hosting better than a professional that is paid for that? Let someone else handle that.

With your own domain you are also not bound to one provider - you can change both domain registrar and your email hosting later without changing your email address.

Also, avoid using something too unusual. I went with firstname@lastname.email cause I thought it couldn’t be simpler than that. Bad idea… and I can’t count how many times people send mail to a wrong address because such tld is unfamiliar. I get told by web forms regularly that my email is not a valid address and even people that got my email written on a piece of paper have replaced the .email with .gmail.com cause “that couldn’t be right”…

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I get told by web forms regularly that my email is not a valid address and even people that got my email written on a piece of paper have replaced the .email with .gmail.com cause “that couldn’t be right”…

That’s the thing that holds me back from a non-standard TLD, as much as I’d love to get a vanity domain.

I’ve got a .org I’ve had for over 20 years now. My primary email address has been on that domain for almost as long. While I don’t have problems with web-based forms, telling people my email address is a chore at best since it’s not gmail, outlook, yahoo, etc…

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5 points

More and more services are REQUIRING a gmail/outlook/etc. account simply because bots/scammers bombard their services. It’s their cheap captcha.

I’m seeing it more and more and it infuriates me to no end.

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I keep seeing people say this but I’ve yet to encounter it even once. I fully believe it happens with non-com/net/org TLDs but I’ve been using my .org as my daily driver for 2 decades and have never had it rejected or denied.

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3 points

As if a scammer can’t get a Gmail address. 😄 What does that even prove?

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1 point

You mean those websites that instead of email input fields there are multiple horizontal stripes saying “Login with Google” and such?

I hate them, too… but I suppose it’s for the mobile crowd that don’t make distinctions between sms, fb/whatsapp messages, and email altogether.

I wonder if all those gmail accounts will be seen like yahoo addresses one day.

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3 points

Yeah, I use firstname@thelastnames.co

And EVERY DAMN PERSON corrects .co to .com

Unfortunately the .com.and .net are both used.

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1 point

You can avoid the warmup by using an SMTP relay, and you can just use the one from your DNS provider if you’re not planning to send hundreds of mails per day.

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