Trying to gauge if I’m going crazy or a little too much “online.”
I currently live in Texas, and moving has been on my mind a lot lately as the Republican party and Texas itself seems to be slowly moving toward fascism. I don’t know when the slide toward fascism will stop, and how much more authoritarian the state will get. I do not feel very good about my tax dollars going to support this state.
I am a middle-aged cishet white man; middle to upper middle class software engineer. I have leftist opinions (libsoc/ansoc), but I’m not an activist (I am very introverted, probably a little bit on the autism spectrum, and pretty much a hermit right now). I do seldom indulge in marijuana consumption, which is illegal here.
I really don’t have much tying me down here. I have no close friends, no family in the state, and no current romantic partners. Last year, I moved within the state for a job, but the company was bought out, and everyone was layed off. I have very high autonomy at my current job, and could probably work fully remote if I wanted. Moving would be expensive (I am in an upside-down mortgage), but I have enough savings to take the hit.
I am personally feeling very isolated here (Texas suburb), at this point in my life, and am thinking about moving into some sort of intentional community (eco-village, cohousing, or land trust; not a commune) in a blue state (or even in Canada if I could pull that off).
Also, the weather in the last 2 years has been absolutely oppressive, and I have a hard time keeping anything alive in my veggie garden :)
Am I being over dramatic? Should I just stick it out here, and try to rebuild my life in a state that doesn’t align with my beliefs?
Also, I’ve heard arguments that libs should stay or even move to red states, but I’m not convinced. The state rules with an iron fist, and pre-empts anything progressive Texas cities try to do. And the district I live in is already pretty solidly blue. Not to mention, red states put families that contain females or lbgt people in danger.
I think you would benefit most by moving abroad. Staying in one country your whole life is very one-dimensional. If you move to another country, esp. overseas, you will look back on your current boredom as wasting your life and you will regret not having done it sooner. Go for just one year. You can always return if you don’t like it. You might be someone who says “I went for 1 year, but stayed 5”.
But first move to a purple swing state like GA or PA for just a month or two, then move your stuff into mini storage. Two reasons: you get to experience a different part of the US, briefly, and you can register to vote in a place where your future votes will count the most. Because that’s the state you will vote in while abroad. OTOH, isn’t Texas on the edge of being a swing state? It’s probably not a bad place to vote from.
I would say mostly true.
I moved to a region where my lifestyle (accounting for wages, tax, cost of living) was effectively cut in half. Yet it was still the right move. My initial thinking was I will live anywhere for a year to get a different experience - I can always bounce back if I don’t like it… if the pay reduction bothered me. I ended up staying ~10 years.
A big factor is where you are in life. Fresh out of university, it’s important to gain ground right away and perhaps get the house paid for, or nearly so. But once you’re a senior dev and at a point of calling yourself “privileged class" with a decent sized 401k built up (which is great to convert to a Roth while abroad), you’re only cheating yourself out of life experiences by continuing to chase the money. Some research concluded around ~10 yrs ago that people’s overall happiness improves as income increases up until the $55k/year mark. Beyond that, income doesn’t matter much. Of course that would be a little higher now with inflation but I guess the OP has cleared that figure.
I think it was around 15 years ago I started researching typical incomes around the world and I noticed that Japan paid SWEs double the US average. Cost of living was about 50% higher in Japan but it still worked out that a US→Japan move would have been a lifestyle upgrade. So there are some rare exceptions.
Honestly, it seems to me that you have all but decided to move and the only thing holding you back is fear of change.
Man, if I were in your position, I’d downsize my belongings and become a digital nomad and I wouldn’t limit myself to the US. Spain, for example, has a newish digital nomad visa that you can get for a year, renewable for three (I think), and it’s not really any more expensive to live there than a typical Midwestern city. Even cheaper in some areas of the country. If I didn’t have a family, I would move there in a heartbeat, at least for awhile.
There’s a lot to see and experience in the US too, though, so if you aren’t feeling adventurous enough to live outside the country, you might look at Minnesota. Duluth, just as an example, is about the same cost of living as Dallas and today’s high there is 69 (giggity) vs 106 in Dallas. I haven’t been to MN yet, but I’m planning a huge road trip for next summer and northern MN looks gorgeous.
The world is your oyster, my friend.
We are moving out of our red state by the end of the year. I do have a dog in this race. I’m a mother to a daughter. We only waited because of opportunity, but we’ve been planning it since RvW.
I will always encourage people to move out of red states if they can, especially Texas. Find a place that makes you happy.
Honestly in all this it’s easy to forget about the simple things. Does living where you are make you happy? Florida is likely imploding at present as the draconian laws being dredged out are going to cause issues. Notible ones. Republicans are basically cutting off their own noses to spite their face to make their supposed utopia and the logistical problems are mounting meaning a greater degree of cognitive dissonance will be required to maintain enthusiasm.
There are people who are having to flee because they can’t be healthy there. You are not an exception to this. If you can’t be healthy where you are then being beholden to the gridlock of politics is affecting you in a way that is not ethical. Yes, we trans folks and people affected by abortion bans need allies. But we can’t fault people for their choices to leave because they are unhappy for the same reasons we are.
Epicurean ethics run the trans movement. At it’s core is this set of principles : you, like every other living thing are in the right to seek the circumstances under which you best flourish. Minimizing the pain experienced, your own and that of others is ethical. Avoiding pain is not an unethical choice.
Whether it’s denying their government tax revenue or staying so you can lend your voice to the movements you believe in it all might come out in the wash in the broader sense of politics - but you also deserve kindness.
Red state doesn’t necessarily matter, find a purple state or a purple district where you and a few like minded people can potentially flip a district. I moved to a perpetually 51/49 district, I did get involved a bit in local politics to help spread the word (mostly stopped during COVID). Within a few years, we flipped the district blue for the first time in like 15-20 years.
