Twitter, owned by Musk, fought for months for the right to tell Trump about Special Counsel Jack Smith’s search warrant for his account.

103 points
*

I’ve said this before, but Musk just never grew beyond adolescence. [Tesla models S3XY! 42069 amirite! Ligma! Tesla fart noises! hahahahaha!] Which is a real problem because he was raised as a socially-ignorant rich white boy in full-apartheid South Africa.

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3 points

I dunno, S3XY is pretty fun and I could forgive all that cringy stuff if he wasn’t such a fuckin narcissistic loser.

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17 points

It’s only S3XY because Ford wouldn’t let him make a Model E. It was going to be the far less creative SEXY originally. Meh.

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-4 points

You can forgive the blatant racism? Excuse me?

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4 points

Huh? I didn’t say that at all

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86 points
*
Deleted by creator
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65 points

The main reason is destroying evidence. This is a guy that would literally eat memos and flush paperwork down the toilet while in the white house.

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24 points

You forgot that they (Trump’s people, maybe Trump himself) repeatedly burnt government documents in the White House fireplaces.

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6 points
*

White House fireplaces

One of my favorite West Wing episodes

Mr. President, you know how you told me not to wake you unless the building is on fire?

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0 points

That’s one I haven’t heard before. It’s also something I’d believe.

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19 points
*
Deleted by creator
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17 points

I and at least literally ‘ones’ of others figured he’d be off to Russia or more likely Saudi Arabia as soon as he left office because he was scared shitless of being thrown in jail.

Now, naturally I’m a bit pissed he hasn’t been held, at least on the Jan 6th charges, if not the damn espionage act indictment. “Two-tiered” justice, indeed.

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14 points

I had always hoped that Trump would try to escape to Russia. It would’ve been the icing on the shit cake.

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2 points

“Eat memos *covered in Big Mac™️ sauce”

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25 points

I’ve been convinced for a while now that if Trump felt he was actually headed to jail his last desperate act would be to try to flee to North Korea to hide behind his crazy bestie Kim (who would absolutely love the drama of having an ex-POTUS as his puppet to parade around and try to shame the US with).

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22 points

Nah, he’d go for Russia. Not enough diet Coke or well done-steaks with ketchup for Donnie in NK.

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6 points
*

Maybe Saudi Arabia. Russia’s too cold.

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4 points

I don’t doubt that Trump would want to go to Russia but Putin would never agree to that when he could have all the same benefits if Donnie was in NK and none of the negatives of having him in Russia. Kim is crazy enough that he wouldn’t care and would enjoy all the extra scrutiny and attention.

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1 point

How long would Trump actually survive if he lived in North Korea? Do they have McDonalds and Diet Coke?

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2 points

You do know that just because a country is poor doesn’t mean the upper crust can’t scrounge enough money to buy a cheese burger right?

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7 points

I wonder why the prosecution team thought that was a “mistake”, or if it was intentionally included and then retracted? Maybe it’s standard language?

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9 points

Not a lawyer but lawyers write draft arguments and then choose the ones they think are the best. It’s possible they put the flight risk argument in a draft but ultimately decided to remove it, but then sent it out before actually removing it.

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6 points
*
Deleted by creator
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5 points

The “standard language” thing sounds right to me. A lot of court filings templates and attorneys just plug in the facts for their particular submission.

Which unfortunately reminds me of Mad Libs, and now this is all getting pretty absurd in my head

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2 points

I think being under constant secret service protection would make it hard to flee the country. They’d have to go along with it.

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2 points

Is that mandatory? Pretty sure it’s a service offered to former Presidents, but Trump could probably just say no.

He hasn’t (and probably won’t) do that because he likes feeling important, and because he ain’t paying for their services.

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35 points

There is a lot to hate in that pic.

Crazy how coke and aderall make these 2 morons believe they should get to decide what direction the planet spin.

Why people worship idiots born in wealth will always be beyond me. If any of you ever suffered imposter symdrome, think of this picture in the thumbnail.

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5 points

And ketamine. Don’t forget the ketamine.

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-18 points

At least Musk had some actual accomplishments. Crazy to watch him literally lose his mind in real time, though.

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30 points

What accomplishments? Man’s bought his way into almost everything he’s celebrated for.

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25 points
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13 points

Shitwinds

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13 points

The shit apples don’t fall far from the shit tree

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18 points

Because Elon Musk is just Donald Trump with business sense. I get roasted every time I say this, but I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.

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28 points
*
Deleted by creator
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26 points

Elon Musk is a lottery winner in the business world.

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1 point

Is ketamine the new cocaine?

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13 points

Lol, Musk has had his bad ideas shot down since he tried to rename PayPal to “X”. He was just lucky enough to buy valuable companies and have capable people stop him from ruining them with his terrible ideas.

I honestly think if you gave a random person a billion dollars and told them to buy a company to run they could do just as well as Musk

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9 points
*
Removed by mod
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11 points
*

Not roasting, but don’t really agree. I mean, look at what’s left of twitter. He was never directly controlling Tesla and certainly not SpaceX, just had the money, practiced bullshit artistry, and made specific orders if it suited him.

I can almost certainly thank him for the ability to make my car fart from my phone, but that’s about it.*

*Disclaimer: Comment author (hereby “jerkface”) fully acknowledges jerkface has no insider experience in the Tesla product pipeline, and jerkface carries hopeful bias in that Musk has very little to do with the success of Tesla in order to assuage jerkface’s emotional guilt for loving the absolute shit out of jerkface’s Model 3 Performance because it’s awesome.

Edit-crap, no superscript with ^ I guess.

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