158 points

any bill around internet monitoring and censorship : saving the precious children from horrible paedophiles act of 20xx

any bill for actually taking care of the physical and intellectual well being of children : bill 50906-3

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87 points

“Wow, you want to FEED kids to keep them in good health? I’d rather spy on everyone in the hopes of catching someone under 18 accessing 18+ material. That’s where REAL good health comes from.”

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32 points

They care about their SPIRITUAL health. Physical health doesn’t matter compared to an eternity of hellfire, you heathen.

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14 points

Oh God, I’m having flashbacks to growing up in an evangelical community

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14 points

The suffering means we are doing it right!

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4 points

The sooner the kid dies the less likely they are to sin.

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11 points

Ban abortion, also makes it illegal to find food to kids or homeless

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113 points

Anytime I see something like the Safe Children and Everyone Who Wants One Gets a Puppy Act I know my life is about to get worse

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85 points

“The Sunshine Protection Act”, oh is this some bill against pollution or something. “This bill makes daylight savings permanent.”

Oh fuck off, that’s too grandiose of a name for that. I mean I want that, but you aren’t protecting sunshine …

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10 points

I don’t have a problem with that act having a grandiose name because axing daylight savings time is something I can totally get behind no matter where I am.

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3 points

Yes. I will finally only drive into the sun half the year instead of the whole year.

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4 points

I always thought it was weird, that the one argument for Day Light Savings is that we get more sun. Someone can correct me, if I am wrong. I’m pretty sure the amount of daylight isn’t magical dictated by clocks and time created by humans.

Abolish day light savings time. Stick to standard time like the rest of the world does.

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2 points

So like, in January, the sun sets at say around 5:15pm. With DST active, it would set at 6:15pm.

So there is more daylight after work or school gets out for most people.

Either way, the time change seems like it’s not useful in today’s age, so we should pick one.

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1 point

Instead of playing games with clocks, why don’t we just do things at different times?

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1 point

They tried that in the 70s. The permanent DST thing, I don’t know what they called it. Everyone hated it so much that they switched back before the next general election.

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49 points

They also have to have a cute acronym, so it fits neatly into a headline:

  • FAPS (Free Affordable Pepsi Soda) Act
  • ANAL (Anyone who Needs it Always gets Licorice) Act
  • BROJOB (Best fRiends Only Jack-Off Best friends) Act
  • PUPPY (Pee Under People’s Pants Yearly) Act
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15 points

SODA (Scorn Owners of Dogs Act)

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5 points

Hmm licorice

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12 points

I’m gonna vote in favor of ANAL.

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7 points

Aren’t we all?

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5 points

How else would the brown licorice industry survive?

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48 points
*

It’s wild this is even allowed in your country. You’d think a bill should relate to a single topic or area so you can actually vote on it, and people can easily see how reps voted on certain topics.

Right?

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21 points
*

But if they did that, how else would they be able to get money for some random project in their district. Or tack on something everyone is against because the optics of going against the stop Stop Child Rape bill are so bad.

If there is no answer for “how does this help a politician?” then it’s probably not going to happen.

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17 points
*

The funny part is public initiatives are bound to this rule, depending where you live

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7 points

??? How am I supposed to get pork-barrel projects for my district? That would never work! People should be forced to vote for things they don’t agree with to get things they do agree with. That’s the American way.

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