86 points

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10 points

Username is tangentially relevant

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17 points

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2 points

Ohhhhhh dags.

I thought this was some kind of Indian food Iesanya (with an I)

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39 points

OMG, Had just moved into a new house. BEAUTIFUL white kitchen, marble counter tops, light grey floor, whole 9 yards.

Kid 1: I want home made pizzas for my birthday party

Me: FUUUUUUU…OK

Day of:

Split up the 17 batches of fermented dough I had made into pie rounds

Broke out the cast iron skillet.

Started working out dough rounds.

Round -> corn starch-> skillet on the range on high -> sauce -> cheese -> meat -> broil -> cut -> deliver -> next

Round -> corn starch-> skillet on the range on high -> sauce -> cheese -> meat -> broil -> cut -> deliver -> next

Round -> corn starch-> skillet -> on the range on high sauce -> cheese -> meat -> broil -> cut -> deliver -> next

CRANKIN’ IT OUT BOSS!

Oh shit I’m out of red sauce, grab another giant glass jar from the pantry

Go to grab something with my off hand, swing the sauce too close, comes down on the edge of the counter, 99.9% over the floor. CRACK!

Bottom of the glass jar just falls off. I’m wearing cargo shorts, it fills my pocket, and my shoe, and slops into the open drawer and down the counter face and as the glass hits the floor, the sprays up all over the rest of the counters and my shirt and the ceiling and the lip of the counter.

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22 points

That sounds like a real lasanyer shoe day.

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9 points
  • Living space with pristine white room and furnishings
  • Living space with one or more children

Pick one.

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2 points

the children had nothing to do with butterfingers goof up though?

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8 points

Did you throw some spaghetti in that pocket and make your own meme photo?

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5 points

Honestly even with the bloodbath that was there I couldn’t hope to even approach the majesty of that photo.

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5 points

Man I thought the other night was bad. Just got my new fizzy drink maker machine. Showed my kids how awesome fizzy orange juice is. I didn’t release the pressure after fizzing it up, remove the bottle and BOOM, fizzy OJ goes EVERYWHERE… ceiling, my face, walls, the clean dishes on the drying rack, windows etc etc. lol

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3 points

You’re supposed to make water fizzy, and then afterwards add flavor (which contains sugar.)

I don’t think you are supposed to add it before otherwise it explodes everywhere?

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2 points

DrinkMate will fizzify any liquid, it’s different than the soda stream where you add their flavors. I use this for water mostly tho

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2 points

Oh yeah, I have one of those. My failure was lemonade. They need to make one with a longer straw so you can keep the liquid further down in the carbonation bottle. Anything but water is a constant s*** show

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4 points

When mayonnaise used to be sold in glass jars I dropped a brand new jar and had mayonnaise and broken glass everywhere.

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4 points

Were you able to salvage any? Just asking if it was Hellman’s you could maybe still use some from the top.

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3 points

It was Hellmann’s and no, it was an absolute shit show. I was cleaning mayonnaise off the ceiling

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0 points

This was a long story.

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3 points

Heh so is the cleanup, I still find little spots of tomato sauce to this day

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25 points
22 points

Bitch lasanyer

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21 points

I used to be a delivery driver for a pizzaria. One night I got a really far delivery, like half an hour each way. I guess during that time the lasagna steamed the paper delivery bag, because I picked it up by the top (stupid) and made it three steps from my car before the lasagna fell out the bottom of the bag and exploded on this dudes driveway. Very sad.

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5 points

Then what happened? Was the customer understanding? Did you have to make the drive out again to replace it? What did your boss say?

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9 points

The customer was very understanding. I did drive out a second lasagna. Boss was angry, but he was always angry.

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1 point

Half an hour is a “really far” delivery? In the city I live, because of traffic, everything is about 20 minutes away, no matter the direction.

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