Seems like a solid article.
I would have loved to see more said about the effort required to move from having traditional relationships to ENM relationships. Something about the article being a Dos and Don’ts makes me feel it’s targeted at newcomers, and having a healthy respect for how big that leap is could be really helpful.
I found a ton of the information in Poly Secure by Jessica Fern to be just what I needed when I read it.
Polywise, her new book, has a LOT more about the struggles of folks opening up their relationships as well as a bunch of really salient points on how poly relationships differ and how to navigate those unique challenges. If you enjoyed polysecure, you should definitely pick up polywise.
“Everyone has their own reason, but your “why” should be specific to you and wholly dependent on you. This means you should want to explore for a more fundamental reason than just having a fun time,”
This is a pretty good introduction overall, but why shouldn’t wanting to have fun be a good reason to try non-monogamy? Isn’t dating supposed to be fun?
Maybe they meant that you would do well to seek deep meaningful relationships?
I would argue that there is nothing wrong with having fun, with the stipulation that a deeper long term connection can be very much more rewarding. Like, it’s a good place to start, and without it, you might have a less rewarding relationship.
Great points, but even my girlmath keeps thinking about this:
“…some 75% of surveyed lesbian, gay, and bi people told Pew Research Center that they were accepting of open marriages last year, versus just 33% of all adults. With all the extra attention, one hopes the 77% of Americans who aren’t open to open…”
I’m currently in my first poly relationship of about 7 months, and I gotta say it’s shocking how not-wierd it is. I knew going into the relationship that partner was poly and had a boyfriend, and I decided to set aside my preconceptions and I’m glad I did. I’m sure I would feel differently had my partner not been open, honest, and mature, but the same could be said of any relationship.
