- I’m a 2 on the kinsey scale; people seem to think there is just gay, straight, and bi and are less exposed to the idea of a spectrum.
- I’m passing white; part mesoamerican, always grew up knowing I was part native american then took two DNA tests and it was confirmed at least that I was part native mesoamerican.
- I have always struggled with getting a handle on my gender and biological sex whether it was my year of identifying as nonbinary or people mistaking me for a female throughout my life or my body issues around whether I am feminine or masculine in one way or another; as I cover in another post I am currently trying to wrestle mentally and emotionally with my seemingly feminine pelvic bone despite being male assigned at birth.
These issues are obscure enough to be ignored by basically everyone, so with more conservative types I have to suffer gaslighting, covert and overt abuse, and interpersonal neglect, and with more ‘liberal’ types I have to suffer a different kind of rejection wherein it is denied that my issues qualify as oppression because there are simply limits to what any one liberal is educated on.
What are some good tips for dealing with this kind of life situation?
I can understand, how you could feel like your suffering might not be seen. You could try to lessen your dependency on your group identity “lacking privilege”. Maybe focus on people who don’t treat you badly, regardless of their “political group”. You can suffer as an individual and people can show compassion to you as an individual, regardless of any quick and easy categories you or they might assign you.
with more ‘liberal’ types I have to suffer a different kind of rejection wherein it is denied that my issues qualify as oppression because there are simply limits to what any one liberal is educated on.
For what it’s worth, that’s a very specific form of oppression that folk in similar positions uniquely have to deal with.
I’m a cis passing trans woman. People don’t realise I’m trans unless I tell them, which means I don’t deal with the overt transphobia many of my peers do. But I still deal with it when I come out to people, and when viewing the hate and bigotry that target us. I still internalise all of the crap that society flings at us, and unlike an actual cis person, my “privilege” can evaporate in an instant in some circumstances.
As for how you deal with it? The way I deal with it is to acknowledge that I do face less extreme bigotry than many of my peers. That is true, and it needs to be acknowledged when talking about my lived realities. Yet at the same time “less bigotry” isn’t the same thing as “privilege”. It’s a discussion you can have with folk that are open to nuance, and it’s not one you can have with folk who aren’t, even when they’re ostensibly allies. That is, unfortunately, part of the package :\
Is this the lefty version of incels who believe they will never get a girl because they are only 5"9’ and don’t have the correct face structure?
Not really but no offense, you seem to be a bit lost in the sauce. If you are this caught up in these kinds of thought patterns you probably radiate some very strange energy to the people around you. I may or may not read too much into that but you seem like the kind of person who would trauma dump a decade of issues onto someone who’s showing even the slightest bit of interest in you. It’s exhausting for people to perform this kind of emotional labor which is why the “liberal” types as you put it may avoid you.
If you can afford it, get professional help if you don’t do therapy yet. But don’t mistake your friends or your date for a therapist.
