There should be a second part of this comic that documents the ending where Lot’s daughters fuck their dad to be sure they are impregnated by a “godly” man
I can’t tell if you are just trying to trick me into reading the bible to find out about all the degenerate shit in there.
31 And the firstborn said unto the younger, Our father is old, and there is not a man in the earth to come in unto us after the manner of all the earth:
32 Come, let us make our father drink wine, and we will lie with him, that we may preserve seed of our father.
33 And they made their father drink wine that night: and the firstborn went in, and lay with her father; and he perceived not when she lay down, nor when she arose.
34 And it came to pass on the morrow, that the firstborn said unto the younger, Behold, I lay yesternight with my father: let us make him drink wine this night also; and go thou in, and lie with him, that we may preserve seed of our father.
35 And they made their father drink wine that night also: and the younger arose, and lay with him; and he perceived not when she lay down, nor when she arose.
36 Thus were both the daughters of Lot with child by their father.
There’s also a song in it that celebrates Israelite soldiers killing babies by bashing their heads against rocks.
But you know, god told them to do it so clearly it was a good, moral thing to do.
Remember a few months ago when conservatives in America were banning books due to violence and sexual tones? Yeah someone submitted the bible and it unsurprising got banned due to numerous passages not just having such themes but glorifying them. If any book should not be around children due to sex and violence the bible should absolutely top that list. If you wanted to make a true to source material series on the Bible, getting it rated R would require serious cuts and revisions, and a totally accurate adaption would easily be NC-17
Yeah, but that’s just the kind of thing that a guy who forcibly raped his daughters would say.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i_JRZX0zwPA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DCSQg1jteAo
Boy I’m showing my age on this one. I miss the Newgrounds cock though.
Satan’s Guide to the Bible is new and fresh though. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8j3HvmgpYc
There’s a theme in the old testament that people become nations, e.g. Israel (Jacob) was one of the the sons of Isaac who begat the tribe/nation of Israel. Lot’s daughters who had nonconsensual sex with him while he was unconscious begat Moab and Ammon which went onto create the nations of Moab and Ammon who were neighbors of the ancient Israelites, they were in fairly constant conflict with the Israelites. The story of lot’s rape can be interpreted as a very old and elaborate “your mother fucked her father” joke.
It’s not just the old testament. That’s how those with power tend to think, that their “empire” is a literal physical extension of the self. That’s why Alexander the Great declined to pass his throne down to anyone else, and instead made them all fight to build their own empires.
Gonna call bull on the Alexander part. He died unexpectedly at 32 and no obvious heir or designsted successor. His only legitimate child was still in the womb at the time of his death and his lieutenants recognized their only chance to seize power was to fight for it.
Absolutely was not Alexanders intent for his empire to be ripped apart after his death or he wouldn’t have spent so much time conquering. As far as historians can tell he conquered all he did with the goal of making an empire that could not possibly have a rival strong enough to challenge it. And in those times, people assumed that means they would continue forever, as they had never seen am empire exist long enough in those days to stagnate and implode inward thanks to political infighting.
Similarly, the nation directly south of Moab was Edom.
Edom means red in Hebrew, so the Bible has Edom being founded by Isaac’s oldest son, Esau, who has red hair and sells his birthright to his brother Jacob for a bowl of red lentil stew because he was hungry.
It’s less of a jab than the origin of Moab, but it’s still not super flattering.
The bible more directly endorses war rape:
Deuteronomy 21:10-14 ESV
When you go out to war against your enemies, and the Lord your God gives them into your hand and you take them captive, and you see among the captives a beautiful woman, and you desire to take her to be your wife, and you bring her home to your house, she shall shave her head and pare her nails. And she shall take off the clothes in which she was captured and shall remain in your house and lament her father and her mother a full month. After that you may go in to her and be her husband, and she shall be your wife.
Yahweh was originally a Levantine god of war, which explains the violent and weird accounts in the Old Testament.
Wait, hang on. This particular deity is the one people started to worship during the bronze age collapse, and that belief system has stuck around since the worst dark ages in history? Fuckin hell.
I guess the demand to worship only one god-- and a god of war at that-- will make that deity worshipped almost forever.
On the other hand, the worship of Yahweh as we know today also has had influence from Zoroastrian god, Zarathustra, who is an icon of love. Zoroastrians also believe only in one God, but it’s not Yahweh. Although, the image of Yahweh as an all-loving deity probably was inspired from the Zoroastrian god, despite the contradicting image of violent behaviour from the bible.
Religion is just a game of telephone basically, before phones were invented.
Also explains why it’s the most common religion in much of the world. If you have one group of people worshipping a god that says “be cool and don’t kill each other,” and another group worshipping a god that says “be uncool and kill anyone who doesn’t worship me,” one of those religious beliefs is far more fit to survive than the other
‘Spoils of war’ sounds a little different when you consider this, and the medieval blindness to the age of consent. I wonder how many incels of the past joined the crusades to get a pussy without any responsibilities.
How does “she gets a month to mourn and then you get married” equate to “pussy without any responsibilities”?
Shut the fuck up, why are you ignoring the rest of the context for that? Forced war brides and rape are fine if you give them a grieving period??
is this something they really put in the Bible to adhere to? Like you can do the deed but let them cry for a month first 😭
People will always draw the line for acceptable behavior just past where they find themselves.
With that in mind we can surmise that the person that wrote this was very likely guilty of war rape, but he thought highly of himself for letting the woman grieve first. Very likely the people he was writing this for were also commonly guilty of war rape and thought little of it.
Not just grieving, but making her his wife, which also means taking care of her.
It’s still rape by todays standards and I won’t be defending it. But making someone your wife was a lot better than raping a woman and then leaving her, unweddable, in a time where a woman couldn’t earn their own income
The entire old testament is included for the explicit purpose of reminding people how terrible the world was before Christ’s new covenant.
No, not even close. The old testament is a product of its time, a few thousand years ago. The entire religion was built around keeping power with the elders and “wise” rather than the brutalist young men. So they found ways to justify things young men would do, its approved by god, and actions that would jeopardize the power of the elders or their holdings was now a sin. By defining whats good and evil in this way they could enforce control on younger generations that could just as easily put them to the sword as they so readily did their enemies, and cast out or exiled those who challenged the status quo.
The new testament came about largely thanks to Roman incursions into Judea. Where an elder could cast out a member of their tribe and condemn them to death, a Roman officer of the legions did not fear any such reprisals of what they saw as some foolish desert cult. They killed and displaced much of the Hebrew power structure and most of the men that would rise against them that a generation of younger and milder (by standards of the day) men could add their own testament displacing the elders and giving the upcoming generation an early chance at the reigns, forming a breakaway religion we recognize as Christianity today, while those who stuck to old Orthodox Hebrew ways is what we would recognize as the Jewish religion today.
So while it is true that much of the new testament was written in a way to contrast itself against the old testament, that was done centuries after the Torah and greater part of the old testament had been the basis of the Hebrew faith for centuries.
That’s not really true, it’s there because the god in it is supposed to be his dad and that’s where he gets all his authority from. What’s the point of listening to jesus if his dad is a vile idiot?
The people who selected the books for the Bible would have very literally killed you for saying that those passages are abhorrent, and you could have been executed for the same crime for all over a thousand years after
Deuteronomy 21:10-14 ESV
The whole Bible is full of insane ridiculous shit like this. It baffles me that people say they live their lives by it and don’t even know what it says.
To be fair, there’s zero expectation in most of Christianity that the entire Bible needs to be read and followed equally. Most Christians follow mostly the New Testament, and particularly the gospels. Some of this stuff in the Old Testament is less often talked about, taught, or even brought up. The stuff they focus on from the Old Testament are lessons about being tested and having faith (like Job) or the “generally love people and be a good person” niceties from books like Psalms.
I’m not defending it. But having grown up in that world, it’s not at all like they give the same weight to these crazy verses as they do to the stories about Jesus. It’s somewhat disingenuous to mock them simply cause these verses exist. Most don’t follow these parts of the bible.
No, that’s history. Back then taking defeated enemies as slaves was pretty much standard. And with the slavery part of course there also came the rape part. That was how wars were done for the vast majority of human history.
then why are millions of people still using an incredibly outdated book as a “source” of their “morality”
God also turned Lots wife into a pillar of salt for commiting the heinous crime of checks book again looking over her shoulder, that harlot!
Also, once they were homeless those same daughters drugged and raped him!
The Bible: fun for the whole family!
The pillar-of-salt thing is really weird, even for a deity as capricious as Yahweh. He doesn’t strike her dead. He turns her into salt. There must be something that got lost in translation there.
No, Sodom & Gomorrah were where the Dead Sea is. Very very salty & unique sea. So wife to pillar of salt follows the theme of violent, quick, salty death.
As HAL 9 TRILLION had numerous examples, there are more like John the Baptist’s father & Abraham’s wife Sarah, etc etc etc. All are related by a general rule: do not question the religion/authority figures of the religion, do not talk back or doubt the religious authority, do as you are told & nothing more, nothing less. The Bible calls for blind, unquestioning obedience in all things. I guess it could also be called ‘faith’.
@MrJameGumb @zarkanian
That whole punishment for not resisting the temptation of looking back seems to have been borrowed from the Greek myth of Orpheus & Eurydice. Like many other biblical stories.
That makes sense. The entire religion is basically just a ripoff of Zoroastrianism.
Funny thing. I had an illustrated kid’s Bible when I was young. The angels clearly told Lot’s feeling family not to look back. Figured it was a FAFO lesson.
Just got done reading the story. No one told anyone not to look back.
No, the angels told them. It’s still stupid. God kills a woman for looking back, he kills a kid for picking up sticks on the sabbath, he kills a guy who tries to keep the ark of the covenant from tipping over. He calls up a bear to maul 42 children because they called one of his prophets baldy.
The Biblical God’s just complete bullshit, honestly.
I’ve been getting into some early Christian / Biblical textual analysis and history and apparently the people who wrote the Sodom story would not have understood the concept of homosexuality as an orientation, their conception was entirely act-based and focused on penetrator vs penetrated.
So this story, the primary anti-gay biblical story, is better understood as showing the Sodomites violating Guest Right, and Lot being such a good host that he expends resources (gives away his daughters to be raped) to keep his guests safe.
Just goes to show how cultural context is important in reading texts.
The preceding chapter is all about Abraham badgering God over the destruction of a city. He starts by saying “Okay, but would you destroy the city if fifty of its inhabitants didn’t deserve it? What about forty-five? Forty? Thirty? Ten, even?” And in the end, God sends Angels down to pull the last righteous man in Sodom out of town before its destroyed.
The guest right passage is intended to illustrate him as a self-less man who would stand at the door before an angry mob to protect his new friends.
apparently the people who wrote the Sodom story would not have understood the concept of homosexuality as an orientation, their conception was entirely act-based and focused on penetrator vs penetrated.
This is true for every culture except the current postmodern context in which we find ourselves.
The development of our current understanding of sexuality is a byproduct of the Green Revolution and the massive abundance of food in the western world. When you’re hungry or in fear of being hungry, sex occupies less of your mind.
Maybe it’s the primary anti-gay story, but aren’t there verses about “not lying with a man as with a woman”? And the punishment for that is to be stoned to death?
There is, but the translation is not perfect and I have seen the argument that the Hebrew translates closer to “you shall not lie with a close male relative as you would your wife” since there is a lot of incest mentioned in the list of prohibitions, or I’ve also seen it argued that it’s implying “male sex worker”, the word for “man” in that passage is not the normal word for “man” used in the rest of the Bible.
And I have also heard the context of the entire section being about priestly purity, so it’s more like you wouldn’t be able to perform rituals after having the wrong type of sex until you are purified, but it’s on the same level as women being unclean when they are menstruating.
But the better argument to me is that Leviticus is specifically part of the Jewish Law, and people since the Apostle Paul have been saying you can’t keep the Jewish Law and be a good Christian, because Jesus replaced all those rules. So it’s actually a sin if you’re Christian and insisting people abide by the rules in Levitivus.
(This is why I think this stuff is interesting)
But married heteros doing oral, anal, mutual masturbation, or sex during a period is all forbidden. Yet all queer hating Christians don’t speak out against any of that hetero/married sin.
Oh, I’m sure if the killjoys managed to outlaw homosexuality again they would come for those things next.
What about the part where his daughters rape him?
