I think the hard-distinction that trans people have as putting themselves in little boxes like ‘feminine’ and ‘masculine’ are kind of harming the whole idea.
Having tea parties isn’t girly. Playing with dolls isn’t girly. Wearing pants isn’t masculine. Playing in the dirt as a kid isn’t masculine. They’re just kid things. There’s too much emphasis on what’s boy or girl like, and people are convinced they’re “a girl” because…they like pink? They like tea parties? They like the clothes that girls wear? You can still be a guy and like those things, those aren’t “girl things”, they’re just things. I hate this idea that everything has to fall into one of those two categories, and if you like something from the ‘other side’ you’re trans.
It’s perfectly acceptable to like/do things that the other sex does, without BEING that sex.
Yes. This is just gender stereotypes. Let’s abolish gender stereotypes instead. You do you, fam.
Yup. When I was a teen I had a lot of dark coloured clothing, I wasn’t a goth but my family thought I preferred dark clothes. I actually prefer bright colours, whether it’s pink, yellow or baby blues. The older I get the less of a shit I give with expectations of gender stereotypes. I’m 27 and had my hair dyed bright blue a couple years ago and I got comments from middle aged men telling me that there was something wrong with that. I still get comments from the guy who lives across the road too.
I’m a Cis, straight man. Know what my favourite colour was growing up? Magenta
Yes it’s fine to do gender non conforming things, for both cis and trans people.
But being trans is not simply a presentation preference.
I’m all set up for the down votes, but in my experience as a non-trans individual, there are two common components to being trans. There is the masculine/feminine side of things, aka gender, which I find to be incredibly stupid because it’s a cultural construct that is largely self imposed in the adult world as long as you don’t have hair thick skin. I really want to do away with gender and gender roles entirely so no one is in a box and everyone can do what they want regardless of what they identify as.
Then there is the body dysmophia side of things, where you physically do not feel comfortable with the way your body presents. This I totally understand, despite not suffering from it, and is imo the only legit reason to transition.
If anyone wants to teach me anything about this, feel free to leave a civil comment and we can have a discussion.
I’m afab, but don’t feel like a woman. I recently immigrated to a country with a gendered language, and it feels almost like faking an accent to use feminine words to refer to myself- like I’m clearly misleading people, but in a mostly harmless way. I’m not sure if I’ll ever transition, but if I do, it won’t be because of me hating being inside my body, it will be because it feels more honest to those around me and I kinda feel like a scumbag “deceiving” them constantly.
I don’t really know much about trans theory, so I don’t know if there’s a good argument to convince you, but I think mine is a good reason to transition.
and is imo the only legit reason to transition.
That’s actually a pretty contentious topic in trans circles (transmedicalism/truscum). Personally I don’t really see the issue with transitioning for whatever (well-informed) reason, as long as you’re not taking up resources for those with dysmorphia
Check out the Gender Dysphoria Bible online; it’s a very good resource. Or read the WPATH-8 recommendations if you want the actual scientific/medical consensus.
In my experience as a trans person with gnc tendencies, you cannot simply wish away gender for everybody. There are people who don’t really feel any attachment (“agender” people). But most people do, deeply.
As an aside, starting a conversation by gatekeeping how people in a group you don’t belong to are allowed to feel, then gatekeeping how they are allowed to express themselves, is generally not a way to get them to open up to you.
The equivalent for me might be “as a white person, in my opinion there are only two valid reasons for a black person to have their hair in locks (a and b), any black people who want to respectfully explain anything about that to me are free to do so…”
If I open the conversation like that, I’m not likely to gather much new information.
I think that may be why you’re not getting the polite interactions you’re looking for, your post was not particularly friendly.
which I find to be incredibly stupid because it’s a cultural construct that is largely self imposed
Oh please explain this more. We need your cis gender expertise to explain how gender doesn’t matter
and is imo the only legit reason to transition.
Wtf. First, why else would someone transition? And even so, who are you to gatekeep what reasons are legit?
I (cis male) used to have tea parties with my dog all the time. Had a little set specifically for it. Stop forcing fun childhood activities into rigid gender groups.
That’s not a sign of being Trans, that’s a sign of liking tea parties. Fucks sake. Quit shoving activities into gender roles.
Having a tea party isn’t girly, though. Let kids play how they want.
My daughter has a room decked out in pink, loves Hello Kitty and collects Raggedy Ann dolls. She also loves The Ramones and The Dead Kennedys and wears a leather biker jacket and spiked collars. And I love it all.
Fuck societal norms. Being who you are and doing what you want because you enjoy it is awesome.
and wears a leather biker jacket and spiked collars.
Sunset Shimmer cosplay?