I’ve run across cis women making comments like this way too many times for it to not be A Thing. Usually it’s a reason given for them not being a lesbian. Something like, “I love boobs but vaginas are gross”. I’ve also seen it as a reason to not date trans men, but I feel like there’s something going on beyond standard genital preference discourse and the transphobia attached to that. Can someone explain this or am I just being weird?

In the US, there’s a lot of cultural messaging about vaginas being gross. Feminine deodorizing sprays, scented pads and tampons, douches, etc - all that stuff is marketed like it’s just an obvious fact that my pussy is naturally gross and I need to Do Something. If that attitude is reinforced by the people around you, it can be really hard to feel good about that whole area

I have known women who didn’t masturbate (and didn’t want anyone to perform cunnilingus on them!) because they didn’t want to touch (and were afraid to let anyone stick their face near!) what they thought of as a gross area. It is really, really, incredibly fucking sad.

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28 points

“Even Cowgirls Get the Blues” covers this extensively, especially in regard to deodorant sprays

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21 points

Had never heard of this book, but it sounds fascinating from it’s Wikipedia plot summary.

Sissy Hankshaw, the novel’s protagonist, is a woman born with enormously large thumbs who considers her mutation a gift.The novel covers various topics, including free love, feminism, drug use, birds, political rebellion, animal rights, body odor, religion, and yams.

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14 points

It’s a very 1970s book, I liked it when I first read it ~15 years ago, I started a reread a few months ago but it didn’t click with me this time

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8 points

I think I have seen a movie based off of this…

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24 points

This. It’s ruining my relationship.

IMO, saliva is the best possible lubricant.

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I am so sorry this is happening to you, comrade.

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11 points

Wait, what? I thought it was pretty bad

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2 points

Yeah it doesn’t have much staying power but is solid to get things rolling, which is all some people need

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11 points

Coconut oil is pretty solid.

Though I start to have “feelings” when I smell macaroons now…

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40 points

I mean yeah. There’s a lot of bullshit attached to vaginas. Like, women masturbating was so taboo twenty years ago if youc an believe that. Women in teh US are/were conditioned to hate sexuality, hate their bodies, judge their bodies against absurd media standards. All sorts of wild shit.

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I suppose that’s why this is more prevalent in women who are over 30. The lion’s share cis women I know who are under 30 are some variety of LBQ, but they grew up with media that was more sex positive, and in a handful of cases, clearly aware of the queer gaze (if only for the factor.)

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38 points

Unexamined internalized misogyny most likely. It’s just repeating the hegemonic idea without awareness that they are just repeating what men say

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27 points

Genitals look weird. Sometimes when I’m very unhorny penises look like fully soft thumbs to me and it’s unsettling. It makes sense to me why’d someone find genitals they’re not sexually attracted to even more weird. Weird stuff easily grosses people out, especially when put into sexual scenarios.

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Not really in my country. We’re weird in that we’re socially repressed on paper due to the high level of Evangelicalism, but also very sexually liberated compared to the US.

From what I hear it’s not something they’re grossed out by but it’s like asking a straight guy why he doesn’t like dick. They just don’t find them sexually a rousing. I’m sure it differs from culture to culture.

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11 points

It is interesting that the US is so repressed while also having “hookup cum brained culture”. Then again, I’ve seen an article about how fascism is also very sexually restrictive yet horny all the time

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13 points

The enemy is at the same time too uptight and too slutty.

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Hookup cum-brain culture is a result of that repression, which is part of why it’s so toxic. Addressing the repression is part of the work necessary to turn hookup cum-brain culture into ethical non-monogamy culture.

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