144 points

“The southern border will be directly in the path of totality today when the moon covers the sun for nearly four minutes.” The eclipse, co-anchor Bill Hemmer then added, represents “a real opportunity for smugglers and cartels and migrants to come right in.”

This is how stupid Fox News knows their audience to be.

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76 points

Cartels: “we have four minutes, guys, we’ve been planning since 2017 for this, get ready!”

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52 points

FOX NEWS ALERT: Rotation of the earth creates HOURS LONG windows of DARKNESS that allow EVIL MIGRANTS to SMUGGLE DRUGS. Liberal CONSPIRACY called “heliocentrism” to blame.

NEXT UP: Copernicus: Evil woke liberal who fought the catholic church and “proved” the theory that allows migrants to cross the border undetected

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14 points

Yeah but the 9-12 hours of darkness at night is different, those four minutes were completely unexpected by anyone without access to internet or common sense.

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2 points

It’s Critical Centrism Theory, and they’re trying to teach it to your kids!

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14 points

I genuinely thought you were joking but no, that was a real quote.

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12 points

Imagine if there was a ten hour period every day when you could “smuggle”. The world would be a horrible place. Wait the world is a horrible place but not because of that.

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7 points

This is how stupid Fox News knows their audience to be.

It’s just the “smart” Republicans watching now, isn’t it? Didn’t the stupidest ones go over to Newsmax and OANN?

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76 points

Sheriff Lamb, a frequent guest on the right-wing media circle and harsh critic of the Biden administration’s border policies, gave the only conceivable answer: “Look, it gets dark every night.”

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38 points

“Look, it gets dark every night.”

Top minds at work.

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6 points

Top. Minds.

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62 points

The eclipse crossed into Texas from Mexico and was bussed to Buffalo, New York using Texas state taxpayer money authorized by Greg Abbot. I saw the whole thing.

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11 points
*

You’re my new favorite person. Your subversive comments are delightful.

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35 points
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2010 thanksgiving dinner

Hey mom and dad. Got my engineering degree and working in the big city. Doing very well. Also met a girl and wow she is something else it’s getting serious. Took me a long ass time to come out here to see you guys and have dinner. Can we talk about something else besides Obama being a gay Muslim bad guy who hates America? No? Hey you are grandparents now, how does that feel? Twin boys wow. Maybe we can talk about your grandkids for a minute? No? Hey Mom heard you got a promotion at Walmart to head cashier. That’s good right? No, guess you still want to talk about Obama.

Never again with those people.

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14 points

It’s really sad how propaganda transforms our loved ones into people we don’t want to be around ☹️

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5 points

Too true…

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31 points
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Oh no the smugglers have 4 minutes of extra night! I’m sure it will affect the situation massively! Jesus Christ what are the writers smoking over there

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5 points

What ever it is it’s def a lot better than what I’ve been smokin

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