Salon loves their hyperbolic, click-bait headlines. This rage-bait shit is exhausting.
It is Slate, and unfortunately click-bait is practically required for news sites nowadays. The article is pretty good though. It talks about the very real situation that global warming is going to change how and where coffee can be grown in the nearish future.
These never ending crisis headlines are mentally draining. It’s not good for our mental health and doesn’t help anyone.
After coffee I’m just going to jump straight to the caffeine inhaler if we have to be cyberpunk about it.
If they can make caffeinated chickpeas, I’ll be having a Hummus breakfast more often.
If they are suggesting a decaf alternative, they should go back to figure out why coffee.
Hummus is good for breakfast regardless…
But I just imagined coffee flavored hummus and the flavor profile made me a bit nauseous.
What if you had it with uh, like a sweet cinnamon roll, or coffee cake chips/donut chips? (As opposed to pita bread or pita chips). Maybe the right fruit?
Still sounds like a tough sell.
I mean… I dunno, I could be being closed minded, but hummus to me is zesty and savory… I have a hard time switching it to a sweet…
Here’s a thought…
Have you had sweet potato casserole where the sweet potatoes are pureed and it has candied nuts and almost a brown sugar crust? Maybe something like that…but then it wouldn’t really be hummus lol
I find it interesting that they glossed over the simplest solution, which would be switch to buying sustainable, shade-grown coffee thus forcing coffee plantations switch to it from market pressure. But I realize it’s not the main topic of the article and that has its own issues - how to make sure it really is sustainably shade-grown, for one.
But also, maybe this is my cynicism showing, did anyone else think these sustainable coffee-esque options wouldn’t stay sustainable if they became popular? Especially with something like annual crops, once other companies see there’s money to be made they’ll jump on the trend and now land (and forests) is being cleared for these crops.
Ok, this is the hedgemeister being really nutty here, but this makes me think of Planet of the Apes (the original, not the remakes), in which there’s some sort of plague that kills off everyone’s dogs and cats, but doesn’t affect apes, who are then taken as pets instead. For some reason this causes them to evolve and take the place of humans as the dominant species. The law of unintended consequences! So along the same lines, if coffee beans go extinct, what if a synthetic alternative is created which accidentally makes humans telepathic, or better yet, removes their need for sleep? If there’s a sci-fi story in there somewhere, please feel free to take it and run with it. As for me, I think it’s time for a lie down . . .
