You mean feel?
Many of us fear feeling too deeply. I’d guess that is why so many of us escape into things that take us away from reality: soap operas/entertainment TV; drugs, alcohol, other addictions such as promiscuous sex that could hurt us, gambling, compulsive shopping that ruins our finances, etc. An online friend introduced me to vippassanna and sent me a wonderful poetic one-page article about it (lost it) and that helped a lot. Taoism and stoicism has similar teachings or thinking. It helps.
I have similar feelings and I was raised in a very controlling home. It took me years to realize the environment I grew up in wasn’t healthy, because that was my “normal”. It could be the same for you, but only you and/or a mental health professional could say for sure.
Interesting. I LOVE the feeling of nostalgia. It brings me back to a simpler and more peaceful time, when adult responsibilities and modern complexities didn’t exist yet. Whenever a late 90s/early 2000’s R&B song comes on, I’m automatically transported back in time and just relish in its bliss.
Nostalgia is really interesting in that it’s inherently bittersweet. It’s nice because it grounds us in a shared timeline and focuses on mostly positive aspects of some past point in time, but it’s also sad because it means thinking back fondly on a time that will never be again.
So maybe it’s the bitter half of that bittersweet feeling that you’re subconsciously averse to? Either that or maybe your past/childhood was mostly negative or even traumatic? I’m no psychologist, so really I don’t know what I’m talking about.
Trama?
