I wouldn’t go on a cruise. Not only are they horrific for the environment and plagued by slave labor, your crammed on crowded can in the middle of the ocean with a bunch of unsanitary morons and assholes. What exactly is the appeal here?

Tl;dr

1. Pay for upgrades in the main dining room.
2. Buy the drink package.
3. Touch shared contact surfaces with my fingers.
4. Wear my room key around my neck.
5. Misname the ship.
6. Plan my port-day itinerary so tight that I may not make it back to the ship on time

That’s some heavy “not worth the reading time” stuff