radishnt

which one of u was going to tell me that tea tastes different if u put it in hot water?

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mothman-misato

y- you were putting it in cold water???

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boimgfrog

Radish. Answer the question radish.

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radishnt

yeah??? i thought for like. 5 years that ppl just put it in hot water 2 speed up the tea-ification process didn’t realize there was an actual reason

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boimgfrog

#u think i have the patience to boil water wtf ???

You dont have the patience to microwave water for 3 minutes???

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catsnraincoats

[ID: Tags reading “u think i have the patience to boil water wtf???” /End ID]

why are you. putting it in the microwave to boil it

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boimgfrog

Do you think I have the patience to boil water on the stove

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catsnraincoats

Its takes less than a minute

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boimgfrog

Bestie is ur stovetop powered by the fucking sun

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catsnraincoats

How long does it take you to boil a cup of water on the stove

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boimgfrog

Like seven minutes

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catsnraincoats

Just stick the mug on top of the stove on medium heat n it boils in like two minutes… less than that is u use a saucepan…

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boimgfrog

Crying you’re putting the whole mug on the stove ??? On medium heat??? Ur stove is enchanted

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pidoop

Every single person in this post is a fucking lunatic

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silverjirachi

Yet another post that reads like four shakespeare characters who come out in the middle of the play to talk about something completely unrelated for comic relief

———

wizardlyghost

(Enter RADISHN’T, MOTHMAN MISATO, BOIMG FROG and CATS’N RAINCOATS, stage left. They are having a HEATED DISCUSSION.)

RADISHN’T: Prithee, which one of you had planned to tell

Of diff’rent flavours gained by simple act

Of brewing tea with water hot, not cold?

MOTHMAN: Egad! you poured the water cold? Wherefore?!

FROG: An answer from you, Radish, I must beg.

RADISHN’T: Indeed I did, dear friends - why does this shock?

Without the guide of others I assumed

That heat was merely added for the sake

Of expediting this solution’s brewing!

Half a decade I have spent, or more,

Not questioning this worldview I had made.

In fact, I am myself a bit surprised

That you might think that I, your dearest friend,

Might have a patience of sufficient stock

To wait until a pot of water boils.

FROG: Three minutes overtaxes patience so?

The microwave will beep when it is done!

CATS’N: My friend, this answer vexes me the more!

Can it be true that thou dost boil by nuke?!

FROG: Are you in turn, my friend, so shocked to know

That I have not the patience, like our Root,

To boil upon the stove our favour’d drink?

CATS’N: It takes less than a minute!

FROG: On what plate?

Perhaps your dinner cooks atop the sun?

CATS’N: How long can take your stove to fill the task

Of boiling but a single cup alone?

FROG: In minutes?

CATS’N: Yes!

FROG: I counted seven, once.

CATS’N: Perhaps you ought to have your timepiece checked!

If on a middle heat you place the cup

You soon will have the scalding drink you crave.

Two minutes, in a mug upon the plate

Or even less, if you should have a pot.

FROG: You cause me tears - is this how thou dost live?

You place upon the iron stove a mug?

A mug, ceramic, filled with water cold?

How do these flames, though medium in height,

Not shatter like a glass this fragile thing?

Surely, then, your kitchen is bewitched

With magicks far beyond the mortal ken!

(The FOUR realise they have wandered into the THRONE ROOM. The ROYAL COURT watches with fascination.)

KING: Ev’ry single person in this group

must be a fucking lunatic, it seems.

270 points
*

Guys this took me way too long to transcribe but I could not go without posting it. wizardlyghost wrote that shit in iambic pentameter. This is the first time I’ve ever seen someone use iambic pentameter when imitating Shakespeare, and they did it fucking flawlessly

ETA Y’all magpiecrown illustrated this and it’s the best

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56 points

I greatly appreciate you posting this. That was extremely impressive and absolutely hilarious!

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52 points

I act’ly think they may have done better
Than William Shakespeare often did himself.

His lines are full of near approximates
Of perfect iambic pentameter.

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18 points

Well in Shakespeare’s defense, he has to write full plays like that, while this person just got to focus on a scene.

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5 points

And Shakespeare did not have chatgpt

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14 points

Worth it. Thank you kindly!

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5 points

Delightful. I love how catsnraincoats speaks through their phone, like they have to translate from meows or something rofl

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123 points

To be honest I would use the microwave before I’d use the stove. Stove takes ages because it has to heat up the bottom of the mug before it actually starts transferring into the water.

But holy shit guys. Kettles are literally designed for this purpose.

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53 points

Kettles are literally designed for this purpose.

Yay I get to post a tech dad vid

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26 points

Fuck yeah. Love me a @TechConnectify@mas.to vid. As a non-American, before I first saw that one, I didn’t even know microwaving water was a thing Americans did.

But since seeing it, I now actually use my kettle to boil water for other purposes, like cooking pasta, too. It’s great. Both much faster, and also uses less water than my old method, which was pouring hot water out of my kitchen tap (which required waiting a long time and a lot of wasted cold water for the hot water to get through the pipes from the water heater to my kitchen), then pouring that into a pot, then putting the pot on the stove and bringing it the rest of the way to the boil.

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12 points

I’m slightly too young to get away with making this joke honestly, but

You drink the water that comes out of the hot tap?

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8 points

I have this, instant boiling water from the tap!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VP0AJQwOEOY

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16 points

On one hand that thing is cool, on the other hand I don’t want to have to memorize a fucking Konami code to get it to dispense the right kind of liquid.

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2 points

They’re cool but also cost like a grand instead of £30 for a kettle

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6 points

This American uses an electric kettle. (Granted, I first had to use one in the UK to understand its glory.)

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5 points

Y’all catching up on kettles like it’s 1995 instead of getting your boiling water directly from the tap 😂

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22 points

Electric kettle ftw.

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18 points

The americans are crying in 110V right now.

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11 points

I used to use the microwave because I was a kid and my family didnt have one of those fancy electric kettles. But then I moved to Ireland and never again can I live without one.

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5 points

My microwave takes 80s, my kettle takes at least double that.

I use the kettle a lot for pre-boiling water for soups far more than using it for tea, unless I’m making 2+ cups.

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4 points
*

Are you people putting your mugs directly onto the stove top?

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5 points

Honestly some comments I saw made me think people were actually doing that, yeah.

But me? No. Like I said, I use a kettle, that’s what it’s designed for.

I did used to boil a pot of water on my stove, for things like cooking pasta. But these days I even boil that in my kettle before transferring it to the pot.

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3 points

I am decades old. And I just figured out I could use my kettle to boil pasta water faster.

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62 points

That was a hell of a read. Both times.

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57 points

“Boil by nuke?”

I almost disturbed an entire hospital waiting room.

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53 points

This is the greatest thing I’ve ever read. The king at the end sent me

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1 point

It is probably ChatGPT but it is still glorious

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