Please remove this picture of me from the internet.
This happens to me too, and I don’t even drink coffee.
I’m on this couch and I hate it.
When I have a rough day or don’t sleep well the night before, I take a 30 minute ‘nap’ when I get home after work. It’s strictly 30 minutes.
It doesn’t matter if I fall asleep or not, it’s a strict 30 minute limit. I set a timer and I stand up when it rings. This lets me turn an otherwise completely wasted evening into something salvageable. Then, I can have a regularly active evening - I cook, play games, paint, whatever.
I don’t really have trouble falling asleep after that at the regular time, or maybe an hour late. I do struggle sometimes to ‘boot up’ after the nap, and it doesn’t always help (mostly when I don’t actually fall asleep) but it has worked for me more times than not.
Also, I drink a LOT of coffee - way too much. This is what works for me.
I hope you find your way to a happier place in life. It comes be hard to try new things, but if what you’re doing isn’t working you need to keep trying.
I understand it’s hard to do stuff for yourself. You spend alllll day doing stuff for other people. Your boss, your family, your friends. At the end of the day you just wanna chill. I’ve been there for a lot of my life myself. You gotta try for you though.
I wish it wasn’t so hard, that we had democracy in the workplace and didn’t have so much of our life and energy sucked away so little shitter 1%ers can feel important. Then it would be easier to do stuff for yourself. So you can thrive, not just survive.
So it’s not easy, you gotta hero/heroine time this shit and do it anyways for yourself. To find what peace we may while we suffer this way of life. For now.