I did not expect this this post of mine to attract as many people minimising SA as it did. Bit of a downer, yeah.
For the past few weeks there have been multiple people on here really showing their asses by upvoting or commenting outright incel shit on various posts. This has convinced me that Hexbear needs another fucking purge.
I’ve found myself asking a whole lot more frequently this past couple months "how the fuck did something like this get so much traction here" against outright incellish and/or racist bullshit.
Ngl, there’s been a lot of iffy shit over the last couple months that have been making me rethink being here. If it weren’t for the absolute amazing trans community, I probably would’ve left. A portion of the men on this site make me horrendously uncomfortable and really are just solidifying why I will probably never date or hook up with a man even though I’m pan. Men terrify me now.
I’m gonna try and do this next time that shit happens. As noted, it makes me uncomfortable and I kinda just lose all sense about what to do in the moment. So I tend to just try and ignore the thread after I see what’s going on so to avoid the severe discomfort I feel.
yeah a lot of people used to talk about SV a lot just off the cuff in jokes and news and memes and i think over time ive been able to get people to realize this isnt ok and now most posts are properly tagged, though i do usually end up reporting one or two each week, particularly from newcomers and fediverse people.
it is generally kinda wild how cis men often have no comprehension about why so many women avoid a wide swathe of internet spaces and activities
So fucked up how common it is for guys to just go to bat for an entirely hypothetical man in an entirely hypothetical scenario rather than just listen to a woman’s concerns about how they don’t feel safe around men they don’t know. I really cast a side eye on any man or masculine presenting person who just wants to dismiss women’s concerns the way some of those people did. They’re a tiny minority of people there, but the fact that they’re here at all is disturbing.
This #Notallmen stuff should have no place here.
Sorry you experienced that. I had not heard of that meme before reading that thread you linked. I’ll say as an male-presenting person, it definitely doesn’t feel good to have people assume that you are inherently dangerous for reasons that are out of your control. That’s where the instinct to minimize comes from, I think.
But that’s how it is, unfortunately. That’s the consequence of living under patriarchy, and if a guy doesn’t like it then they should assist in dismantling it rather than trying to dismiss its harms.
That’s where the instinct to minimize comes from, I think.
Goofy-ass, ridiculous instinct. Idk where people in privileged groups get this idea that condescending to or whining at people of marginalised groups is a good idea. I think the absolute bare minimum you can do is listen to those less privileged to you. It’s not like the Institution Of Maleness needs defending.
(Good comment btw, I’m just on a roll today)
Yeah, it’s a knee-jerk reaction, and it’s dumb as hell. Even dumber are the ones who double down after being called out. It sucks to have your feelings hurt because someone was scared of you, but the sort of fucked up shit a creepy guy can do to women is far worse. Dudes seriously putting their feelings above other people’s safety, it’s fucked up.
I heard a coworker today talk about almost getting kidnapped on a Tinder date, with the dude stalking her to her job and following her home. Just horrifying stuff. It’s so pervasive but as a guy I don’t encounter it until I hear stories like this and realize how dangerous it is out there for women and femmes alike. So, as much as I made jokes in the thread about gay bears, I get the point. It’s not safe out there.
