This was my conment on a post saying that pregnant people should always be used instead of pregnant women. My comment was under someone saying vitamins for pregnant women should say vitamins for pregnant people. I have a trans son and many trans friends. My comment was not promoting hate! Fucking reddit mods
I have a couple of married friends. Both trans guys. They tried to adopt, and their options for surrogacy all fell through. So one of them carried their daughter. He didn’t want to do it, but they were out of other options, so he did.
He wasn’t “female whilst pregnant”. He wasn’t a mum, a mum to be, a pregnant woman, or any other term like that. He was a pregnant man, or when needed for clarity, a pregnant transgender man.
I’d ban you too, in a heartbeat, if you brought any of that bullshit in to a trans or queer sub that I moderate.
You having a trans kid doesn’t give you permission to walk all over the voices and experiences of trans people trying to navigate pregnancy
Why is it so hard for some people to just say “ok” and move on because it’s important to the other person. ESPECIALLY if “it’s no big deal” then just do it and see how much more your NB and trans friends feel comfortable
Well its an opinion post. So i gave my opinion. Its not hate to have a different opinion. Im sure with further discussion we could have come to some understanding as happened later in that thread. Where i corrected some of my language and further explained my pov. As someone else clarified the opinion of the OP in a way that was easier for me to understand. We were very close to forming a better understanding of language and inclusion that made sense to each of us. Then the OP called me an asshole. Deleted their comment and i got banned.
Your experience with your trans friends is wholy different than mine. Maybe its regional or cultural but the FTM trans I know well wouldn’t object to being referred to or lumped in with pregnant women on a general basis and if they did they are fully capable of correcting those refering to them with whatever term suits them. For non-binary pregnant person may sufice, for some FTM they may prefer pregnant man. Thats kinda my main problem i think. Health care is such an individual thing. There’s absolutely no reason why a doctor, nurse, or receptionist cannot use whatever term the person in front of them prefers instead of the extremely illiteritive term pregnant people. Why not just say the Pregnant? Or heck pregnant individuals if addressing a group? Pregnant people just sounds strange on the tounge and doesn’t really suit everyone. As a cis female person I want to be referred to as a pregnant woman not a pregnant person. Your friend maybe would have preferred pregnant man? Idk but why can’t we just meet individuals as individuals that they are?
Maybe its regional or cultural but the FTM trans I know well wouldn’t object to being referred to or lumped in with pregnant women on a general basis and if they did they are fully capable of correcting those refering to them with whatever term suits them.
Cool. Whatever works for them.
But it’s worth being aware that as you’re not trans yourself, the whole “I have trans friends who are ok with this behaviour many trans people feel is problematic” just sounds like the same excuses bigots have used over the years. “I have black/trans/female friends who are ok with <insert problematic topic>”.
Secondly, even if you are accurately representing their perspective, no one is taking away anyones right to identify with whatever terms best work for them. The issue is not pushing terms on to others who don’t want them.
Your friends can identify with pregnant women all they like, but it becomes an issue when trans men who don’t share that stance get told that they’re the problem
Pregnancy vitamins.
How hard is that? Does it really need woman/people? Sheesh. Its like deodorant or razors that say “for men” or “for women” …why is that even necessary??? Its the same stuff with a different color or different scent. Its all just dumb marketing.
Maybe people should just relax and realize that they don’t need to be bothered by labels anyway. I guess sure you could argue that its easier being misgendered as a cis person and that Transgender have naturally more insecurities about it but then what about non-binary individuals? Either way they get misgendered but they dont seem as insecure about it?
Truthfully I think getting triggered by a stupid label on a pill bottle is kind of unnecessary. Just rip it off or write over it. Not a big deal. 99% of the people buying them are cis-female so they put woman on the label or put it in a stupid pink colored bottle or something…big deal. Its just a Pregnancy vitamin! Its the same thing no matter what color the bottle or what gendered nonsense is written on it. Smh.
It must suck going around choosing to be triggered by something like that. It shouldn’t be that difficult to just be secure in your own indentity and stop letting the way the world works get under your skin.
Seems like you put way too much effort in opposing such a simple change. Why care at all if its changed to “people”? You sound a lot like people “just asking questions.”
“Biological female” is also a big red-flag.
Some FTM may not even come out until they’re already pregnant. Some may choose to not take HRT for the purpose of having a biological child. And you don’t need to take HRT to be trans, so it also sound a bit too transmedicalist.
Don’t forget the tokenism in the description of this post.
OP: “It’s ok, I have trans friends”
I never said i oposse it. Just that it sounds weird.
And yeah…should have said assigned female at birth instead of biological female
I never said i oposse it.
Fooled me.
Just that it sounds weird.
Seems sus. But honestly its weird what people are about, so I wouldn’t really blame you for feeling that way. For example:
“I doubt a label such as ‘vitamins for pregnant women’ would”
Back when I was an egg (ie: I had no clue I was trans), I remember specifically disliking when my parents got me shampoo with the label “men” on it. I’ve gone without deodorant because the one I usually got was out of stock and the next closest thing (the only other “vegan” one I knew of) was labeled “men”. I’ve avoided multivitamins marketed for “men”. I had no clue why that bothered me… I assumed I was cis-by-default. It still makes no sense why I care about any of that. But I certainly don’t doubt there’s trans men who care about such labels, even if just a little. Its probably not in the top 100 in the list of priorities, but there’s no reason to waste even a sentence defending that kind of wording.
Trans people already deal with enough BS elsewhere. No reason they should tolerate within their own communities. I’m currently banned from such a community I was a regular in and I’ll defend them banning me for what they thought I was saying (even though its based on a complete misunderstanding).
I hear you. Things are too labeled in society. Like deodorant and shampoo is the same for everyone…why do we need to add “for men” or " for women" anyway? I am a cis woman who has no issue buying “men’s” razors/shampoo/deodorant simply because its cheaper and since i use unscented products it doesn’t matter to me. I also buy and wear boxers cus they are more comfortable. I dont consider myself non-binary or trans or a cross dresser because Im secure in my womanhood and don’t consider it a big deal.
As far as the phrase " Pregnant People" it does sound weird when you say it aloud. Its too illliteritive. Why not just Pregnant if theres a need to generalize or pregnant individuals?
I feel that its just as easy to actually ASK the person in front of you what term they prefer you use and then just use that term rather than try and generalize and lump everyone together. As a cis women i wouldn’t care to be referred to as a pregnant person but it would’ve really bother me enough for me to correct them. If they called me a pregnant man, I wouldn’t get all offended and think they hate all cis women, id just laugh and correct them. Its really not hard to just communicate with the person in front of you. Its far easier than trying to change all language to be inclusive.
Outside of medical literature, assigned sex at birth is preferable over biological sex, e.g., assigned female at birth.
I do not care
You probably shouldn’t have been banned but you are wrong. “Female while pregnant” is pretty offensive.
