When I first joined this community I saw it as a respite from reddit where I was free to chill with people without being constantly expected to debate or defend arguments or anything. Just a forum where people are nice.

Lately though it seems every active comment section is filled to the brim with, to be frank, obnoxious people who want nothing more than to fight with you about everything you say. I think they’re known as “debate bros.”

I’m not saying debate shouldn’t be happening but to be honest it’s disappointing seeing it be the only thing occurring. I’ve tried contributing in other fashions but have been met multiple times with people trying to start arguments with me about things or get me to defend “points” that I didn’t make. This in particular has been very annoying. I’ve reported every instance of this due to it not contributing but I feel as if that’s not helping.

I like talking to people I disagree with. I like conversing with differing opinions. But I feel alone in that this isn’t the only thing I want to do on a forum.

Again, I’m not trying to definitively say we shouldn’t debate at all, but just pointing out how prevalent it seems to be. Id like to just converse with people without being expected to make and defend points. I feel like that’s a major thing we should’ve left on Reddit.

If people want to debate then they can do that. I just dislike that it appears to become the base-level expectation for the instance.

16 points

I think the honey moon period is over for all instances and communities when people were motivated to comment with the goal of trying to encourage user growth by being nicer than they usually are.

Now that people are settling in they are more comfortable using the fediverse like they’ve done on social media. Which does change the type of posts and comments that now come out.

So arguments are expected for even trivial topics like games. It’s good or bad thing depending on the viewpoint, but was expected outcome since motivations for posting was much different in the earlier days.

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12 points

I think that it wasn’t a honey moon period, but more so people are getting settled in and attempting to bring in toxicity because some people just crave toxicity for no logical reason…

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16 points

While I’m not a psychologist, I read far too much crap online, so take this as a layman’s view.

There’s been a lot of research around the dopamine feedback loop around social media, as well as the fact that arguing and “winning” is a major dopamine hit, so I wouldn’t be the least bit shocked that a lot of the more toxic people are literally addicted to the dopamine that social networks give you that they’re arguing and posting for no other reason than their next hit.

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8 points

Oh no, they quite literally are. You pretty much nailed the root of it, and also brought up a good point as to why for profit social media tends to become so harmful. Engagement is prioritized, and “winning” and arguing with people drives engagement due to the dopamine hit. That’s why you will constantly see rage bait promoted across social media. It makes money.

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6 points
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12 points
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7 points
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27 points

Yes. Lemmy/kbin/etc as well. I was just thinking to myself idk why I’m even on here. It feels like every comment I make, I end up having to defend myself, no matter how innocuous the comment.

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24 points

I said it would be funny if the next elder scrolls games smashed expectations and was good, in an ironic kind of funny. I mentioned baldurs gate 3 due to it being also incredibly well received and was immediately met with a person who wanted to argue that the two games aren’t comparable.

I agree with them but I wasn’t even trying to make that argument in the first place. Just mentioned BG3 because it released like two weeks ago. Was very disappointing to see such a misrepresentation of what I said.

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14 points
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18 points

I think that might have been a thread I called someone out for being unkind. They jumped to ad hominem in response to a really innocuous comment

Someone I called out recently for being unkind replied essentially saying that all of Beehaw are snowflakes for wanting to eliminate vitriol. That comment was deleted, I assume by a mod/admin, very quickly, so kudos to whoever was watching that thread/report!

I am very thankful to the volunteers trying to keep Beehaw true to its mandate. Hence why I’m trying to do my part by calling people out when they break the only rule here.

TL;DR:
Maybe that’s what will move the needle? If we, as non-mods, normalize calling out unkind behaviour then it derails the “performance snark” and ruins the “fun” of trolling.

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73 points

I’ve noticed this everywhere on Lemmy - I don’t think this is a Beehaw exclusive. My guess is that as Lemmy grows, more and more people are lurking and reading every post/comment you make. Most people will pass by without a debate, but if 1000 people read your post all it takes is one person to decide they want to start an argument.

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25 points

Absence of disable inbox setting for comments or threads like on Reddit is also a contributor I think, since if you are the type to have to defend your comment then it leads to a back and forth that can go longer than on reddit since you will be made aware of the reply with no ability to turn it off for either party.

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13 points

A block will turn it off.

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7 points

I love your mindset

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23 points

I’ve noticed this everywhere on Lemmy

Same here. And it’s been wave after wave of negativity of outside events flocking people. June Reddit API change, then Zuck @ Threads hate, Twitter to X shockwaves, and now Trump back on Twitter. It hasn’t been people seeking out positive as much as it’s been world wide web of anger.

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10 points

Nuh-uh.

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6 points
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5 points

NUH-UH.

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2 points

If you keep all the AC inside, how are we gonna combat global warming?

Actually, now I’m wondering how large of an AC would it take to dump earth heat back out into space…

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7 points

I’m marginally attached to beehaw so maybe I’m not the best gauge to read, but I haven’t really noticed what you describe.

Enjoy your weekend!

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7 points
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Unfortunately most places have “reply guys” in some capacity. I may have my own qualms with lemmy as a platform, but a lot of it is algorithmic and the lemmy devs are being mindful of making sure not to add the most toxic aspects of social media algorithms to lemmy. There’s always those people seeking out toxicity and crave an argument on every platform. With platforms like this it’s important to recognize that you curate your experience. Mute and block often. You aren’t missing out on clout, or anything really. If there’s anything that’s hindering you from having a good time here then get rid of it. There’s a lot of FOMO people have especially with browsing /all but the fediverse thrives when you curate what you want to see carefully.

It should also be noted that there’s quite a few people on reddit determined to come here and try and start shit for no reason other than they find it to be fun. There’s a pretty big post on reddit that I saw about lemmy being “too civil” and how the fact that there isn’t a controversial sorting option, it’s too boring for them to use. Some people crave conflict. Don’t satisfy their craving.

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5 points

Yeah, I’ve memorized what to click to block people in lemmy, an option that I have rarely used during my 13 years in reddit.

I don’t know, my communities are fairly similar on reddit and in lemmy, but I’ve blocked more often here.

I wonder why.

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