House Speaker Mike Johnson describes himself as a Christian before anything else. He has said his “faith informs everything I do.” He has told people curious about his views to “pick up a Bible.” His wife reportedly runs a counseling service whose operating agreement, which he himself notarized, states, “We believe and the Bible teaches that any form of sexual immorality, such as adultery…is sinful and offensive to God.” He has said he and his son use a software program called Covenant Eyes to ensure neither is looking at porn.

Given all this, you may think that Johnson would not be comfortable showing up to a criminal trial to defend a guy who allegedly had an affair with an adult film star (according to the adult film star anyway, though Trump denies it), paid her to stay quiet about the alleged affair, and then was accused of covering up said payment. But you would think wrong!

On Tuesday, Johnson attended Donald Trump’s hush money trial in Manhattan, where—prior to the proceedings getting underway—the congressional leader nodded approvingly at Trump from behind a metal barrier, like a groupie at his favorite band’s concert.

163 points
*

and is known to have shitloads of other affairs, and has been determined by a court to be a rapist.

Oh also he’s a liar, a thief, a cheat. He’s corrupt, he doesn’t pay taxes or other bills and is a fucking traitor and oathbreaker.

also according to Mike’s scriptures… Trump is a mass murderer. (the scriptures make it clear that murder is the only of the ten commandants that could be broken by inaction. for example, the parable of the good Samaritan, the reason that parable was offensive was that the two who did nothing both ‘pillars of the community’ types- a prominent and respected business man, and a priest- but they committed murder by not providing aid they could provide where the “dirty” Samaritan did.) (edit just to clarify, COVID trump could have saved millions of lives by countering the antivax narrative. or by encouraging masking. Or lockdowns. or just shutting the fuck up. he did not, and who knows how many people died as a result. biblically, Trump is a mass murderer.)

but details.

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70 points

Trump is literally a Golden Calf, and Johnson is worshiping him.

Ugh now there’s an image I have to get out of my head…

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14 points

pretty sure the golden calf had more intelligence. Could be wrong, though.

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4 points

Had enough smarts to not be made of worthless tin.

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6 points

The only time I’m in favor of veal.

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4 points

& it already happened:

https://images.jpost.com/image/upload/f_auto,fl_lossy/t_JD_ArticleMainImageFaceDetect/472066

I’m an atheist and still find this blasphemous mockery of Christianity disturbing.

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3 points
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I assumed that was a troll or performance art stunt at the time, but nothing ever came out, and now all evidence points to his supporters genuinely worshipping his gold shit.

Though wearing gold diapers is probably a lot more affordable than his sneakers.

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3 points

Well, an orange calf at least.

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12 points

Who was it that said Trump “lacks the character and the moral center we desperately need again in the White House”? Cause Mike Johnson should listen to that guy.

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27 points

did he ask his son if it was okay for him to suck donald off?

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10 points

I hope he’s not allergic to mushrooms

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2 points

I don’t.

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1 point

… want to know about Trump’s mushroom dick?

Why not, the rest of us have to know about it.

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5 points

He brought his son with him so they could share.

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34 points
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See? How hard was it to make a title that was just the facts?

See how easy that was? CNN, NPR, AP, take notes.

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18 points

Should have said “alleged Christian”.

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3 points
Deleted by creator
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-16 points
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@Numenor: Except that the trial is not about if Trump had sex with a porn star

I mean. It is, actually. Do you just not know jack shit or are you just talking shit?

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24 points

The trial literally isn’t about if Trump had sex with a porn star; in fact, it basically presupposes that he did.

The trial is about if he illegally covered up the hush money he paid her afterwards

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5 points

Perfectly normal!

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42 points

Complete hypocrisy is the norm for Christianity.

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15 points

The definitive property of it you might say.

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19 points

I was gonna say this was on par for the modern Christianity as we know it. I don’t think death threats are very Christian either but it seems that’s been par for the course now.

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