For me, growing up, I was around people who saw games as useless and a waste of time, but I loved them
I’ve always been into computers and tech and was called techy and a gamer and each time, it was said with a sort of disgust from the person saying it.
It made me feel like I shouldn’t be friends with the few people like me, and I spent a lot of my childhood staying away from people, and making sure that people didn’t learn that I played games
Even now, I get slightly uncomfortable being called a gamer or techy or any synonym even though people don’t really think that anymore around here.
Anyone else have something similar?
Someone said I would be a good wife…I felt powerless and degraded. How did I manage to come off as so brainless and lacking in self respect that I’d have nothing better to do than be someone’s wife?
A good wife for someone, or for the person speaking? If the former, I probably agree with you. If the latter, I would mention that not all people have that image of a wife as someone defined by being housewife and executive assistant. Husband considers me a good wife because we love each other and I can handle the budget and hold down a job and cook so much better than he can (not a high bar to reach) but we are both adults, he cleans way more than I do, does the shopping at least half the time, we work together. He’d not consider a stereotype of traditional wife a good wife. I don’t know many people who do, come to think of it.
No a very traditional and backwards woman made a comment about how I’d be a good wife for her son who I don’t even know.
I don’t know how I managed to come across as that much of a worthless cored-out shell.
More likely she didn’t see you at all, only saw what she wanted to.
ETA: something like this happened to one of my daughters, her boss wanted her to marry his son (who she did not even like) basically because they liked her and wanted her in their family, and thought she’d be good for him, without even considering how bad he’d be for her!
How did I manage to come off as so brainless and lacking in self respect that I’d have nothing better to do than be someone’s wife?
genuinely curious, how did “you’d be a good wife” turn into “you’d be brainless and lacking in self respect, and would be nothing more than a spouse”?
My family has said the same thing when doing something. Seems to be an old person thing to say.
I think it just bothers me that people shove the idea of being this cuddly nurturer at me and don’t give a shit if it’s what I want.
A chess improvement company once wrote an article about me and although I was deeply grateful for the opportunity I am also very glad I saw the first draft because the reporter invented a whole imaginary child. While cutting a lot of my thoughts about annihilation and how it’s a fairly staple tactical skill.
To his credit he removed it when I asked but…ugh. Can people not stay on topic ever? I swear to God I could be in the middle of defusing a bomb and someone would mention husbands or children.
Basically any and all compliments make me feel like shit, it’s not a good quality of mine but its the truth
Before I transitioned being called handsome hurt, I didn’t want that. Since I transitioned I have been called beautiful and sexy. I still feel bad, I don’t believe them. It’s odd because… I can kinda see what they mean? Like I personally like how I look sooo much better now it’s insane, but from other people it feels like a lie. Or else it makes me feel like I’m just an object to them, like an exotic sex thing, not a person.
I work as a gpu/graphics programmer, and people say I’m smart and talented. I never believe it, ever. When I was young I did not do well in school, like special ed classes. That early life experience is still internalized. It’s why I push myself really hard at the detriment of my own health. I truly believe I am not a smart person despite recognizing why people think I am.
Last year I was diagnosed autistic with Persistent Demand Avoidance sub type. I have read online that PDA people often struggle with compliments. Its super fucked tbh, I can never feel good about any accomplishment, nothing is enough, and I feel unlovable.
I honestly can’t think of anything. Is there things people have said that I don’t like? Sure. But ones that made me feel awful? No, and if there was something like that it probably felt bad because deep down I knew they were right.
Offence is taken, not given. If you call me something I know not to be true I simply don’t care.
Pretty bad, a little kid called me Asshole Eyes when I was 17. I am 60 and still remember.
Gramps idk what asshole eyes even means but whoever that was has lived rent free in your head for 43 years. Let it go, I’m sure you’re a lovely person with great eyes.
I saw someone say that God wasted a perfectly good asshole by putting teeth in your mouth, best insult ever
I heard a biker tell a cop to take a flying fuck at a rolling donut!
I stole it a few times because it is that good.
A “red wine guy”. Ugh.
