Testurdays are the worst

I don’t think there is. I know on macOS there’s a setting but it doesn’t work, I have it unchecked and it still lets me know 15m before a calendar event.

You should be able to to settings then focus then whichever focus you’re working on. Inside there you’ll see categories for people and apps. List any contacts and apps that you want notifications from during that focus. All others should be silenced

there might be a shortcut you could script?

I see an option to allow time sensitive notifications for apps not in my list of allowed apps, it shows up once the “allow notifications from” option is selected. I have no idea if it actually works though, as I’ve never used it.