76 points

Eating that is gonna give you fire resist

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19 points

Just as well, because cooking it will give you fire

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11 points

You mean fire damage

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2 points

You are what you eat though

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2 points

So like heartburn?

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42 points

i once had a customer who wanted their fish “blackened”. Everyone else on staff had tried at some point and the customer always complained it was undercooked. So me being the new gal said id do it. I threw it in a pan and left it there for god knows how long. Then flipped it, left it there longer, and finally threw it into the back of our oven for another 15 minutes. It was literally charcoal when i was done. I was sure they would complain that it was overcooked but those fuckers loved it. They specifically requested me to cook their meal whenever they came in after that. I was just fucking with them the first time 🤷‍♀️

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10 points

At that point the fact that it started as a fish barely matters. These guys could just eat charcoal from a 20lb bag.

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2 points
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15 points
*

Oh, i mean the customers (husband and wife) loved it. They literally wanted it burnt when they asked for blackened. All my coworkers had tried to get the outside crispy from the spices but each time they didn’t cook the inside to be flaky enough according to this couple. This occurred over several weeks. Each week the couple came in asking for it and my coworkers progressively cooked it longer each time but it was never good enough. We thought they were just trying to get free meals so when i said i would cook it, i was going for a “they can’t complain about this being undercooked” and much to my surpruse they actually liked it.

I’ll note that no one else in the restaurant ever complained about my coworkers’ blackened fish. It was a popular meal. So it wasn’t my coworkers not cooking it right. Just an odd couple

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5 points

My mother used to be like this with steak. She would ask for it well done, and after the waiter wrote that down, she’d follow up with a comparison to a hockey puck. Like really just fuck this thing up sideways, it should be charcoal. The looks we got from most waiters were hilarious.

Meanwhile my dad would order the rarest steak it was legal to sell him. “Just walk it past the grill on the way out here, I want it still trying to graze on my salad”.

To their credit most places got it close enough that we could eat without complaint.

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37 points
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33 points
  • how would you like your fish?
  • mordored
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18 points

Maybe the vegans have a point.

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