What LGBTQ+ topic do you wish more people knew about? This could be a queer icon, a piece of history, knowledge about certain labels, specific philosophy topics (or notable philosopher), art, or anything else. Also if there are topics that you wish specific sub populations had greater access to or knowledge of, feel free to qualify (for example, you might wish there was greater knowledge about a specific cultural gender to all cultures which don’t have exposure to this gender, or a desire for your local gay community to be more educated on a topic important to you).

61 points

Bi people are all around you we mostly just pass as strait and are encouraged to remain invisible by identifying as straight or as gay by the straight and gay friend groups we know.

permalink
report
reply
18 points

fellow invisible bi person checking in! 🫡

permalink
report
parent
reply
17 points

This me. Bi guy and it took me like several decades to realize that. Was convinced all my life bi was not real

permalink
report
parent
reply
1 point
Removed by mod
permalink
report
parent
reply
5 points
*

This is not the oppression Olympics and I really do not appreciate the infighting nor the bisexual erasure. I’m giving you a temp ban to cool off.

EDIT: they have been permanently banned from our instance for harassing multiple users via direct messages

permalink
report
parent
reply
20 points

Fucking Christ, multiple people opening up about how they feel shunned by the very queer community that’s supposed to accept them because they’re bisexual, and here you are shunning and silencing queer people.

Are you this much of a flaming bag of dog shit to everyone in your life?

permalink
report
parent
reply
1 point

I know this person is already banned, but for anyone else…it’s not something you control. Sure, you may be bi, but sometimes (as hard as you might try), you still fall in love with someone from the same sex. You can’t just choose to fall in love the same way you can’t choose to be gay.

Which sucks if you are born somewhere repressive where homosexuality is an arrestable or executable offense.

permalink
report
parent
reply
48 points

Coming out is not a single, grand event. It’s a decision we have to make repeatedly, sometimes even daily.

Do I have the energy to correct the dude I bought a guitar cable from who assumed I have a wife? I was tired and cranky that day so I didn’t correct him, now I have to deal with feeling weird or even a tad guilty for not standing up for myself or my partner even on such a tiny level.

permalink
report
reply
7 points
*

Yes, media portrays coming out as something you do once and then you’re out! Really, it’s something you do over and over again with every person or group you come out to. Some people are easier to come out to than others. Whether we do it and how we do it depends a lot on the specific circumstances.

Edit: I once heard this terminology reversed and it really resonated with me. That is, it’s not about who you are out to but who you let in. It’s a privilege to be on the inside, not an obligation for you to be out.

permalink
report
parent
reply
47 points
*

It’s getting better, but I really don’t appreciate how many people seem to think that “drag queen” and “being a transgender person” is interchangeable and exactly the same.

For clarity for anyone who isn’t sure, drag queens are performers who often (but not always) identify as gay men in their day to day lives. A drag queen is a caricature of a woman, a massive exaggeration for entertainment purposes. Drag queens are like clowns, and clowns don’t go around in their day to day life identifying as a clown. It’s a job, a gig, a temporary identity for entertainment purposes.

Transgender people have gender dysphoria that is so unbearable that they have no choice but to bear all of the negative things that come with coming out as transgender in order for them to have some tiny speck of hope at being happy and comfortable in their own bodies. Transgender people, unlike drag queens, always do identify with their chosen gender representation.

permalink
report
reply
25 points

I’m really glad you said this. There’s a large amount of the general population who think trans and drag are the same, even people who are allies. I respect those who do drag and I can understand why they do it, but as someone who is trying to present as myself authentically instead of performatively it’s almost detrimental to the cause when those who are outside looking in automatically equate the two.

When I came out to my family as trans, my dad’s first thought was I was going to be “parading myself around like a drag queen” (his words). He voiced his concern about it, because he had no understanding that they are not the same thing. Typically when I come out to people as trans one of the first things they talk about is how I must love Ru Paul’s and assume that I watch it. I’ve never watched a full episode in my life, and truthfully it’s kind of difficult for me to watch it knowing mentally that’s how people would perceive me if I come out to them.

And while I acknowledge that there can be overlap in the community it’s not who I am, nor is it how I want to be perceived. I don’t have the luxury of “taking off” who I am, nor am I trying to be a caricature of a woman. I’m just trying to be myself and I wish more people understood that.

permalink
report
parent
reply
11 points

I have such a mess of opinions about Drag Race. I’m glad that it brought the idea of drag to the mainstream so that people understand that drag performers aren’t the kind of monsters that right wingers make them out to be. But in a lot of ways, I feel like it’s done more harm than good to the trans community. With the constant conflation between trans and drag, and also the fact that Ru Paul is a fucking asshole who’s not at all supportive of the trans community, it’s hard to see it in a positive light.

I also just hate reality competition shows, especially in a scene that should be so much more supportive and uplifting and cooperative, rather than competitive.

permalink
report
parent
reply
47 points
*

that a part of the reason why queer people seem to be a recent invention is that Nazis burned the archives of an institute containing literature on The Gay

permalink
report
reply
35 points

And for many (mostly) gay men the AIDS epidemic was devastating. You don’t see a lot of old gay men for that reason.

permalink
report
parent
reply
27 points

And especially that research about transgender was among the first books to be burnt.

permalink
report
parent
reply
2 points
*

This book actually does dive into some of the older years of queer history, the 20s-60s iirc. Mostly centers on the 1950s, but it’s actually a very interesting book. Some of the landmarks are still around! None have placards indicating their importance to gay history IRL, which is a bit bittersweet when you look at all the other placards of other historic moments in history at the same location.

https://press.uchicago.edu/ucp/books/book/chicago/L/bo193960577.html

You can also buy it online, this is just a free PDF.

permalink
report
parent
reply
42 points

I think the amount of transphobes in the world would be waaay smaller if everyone knew what gender dysphoria is

permalink
report
reply
41 points

And people don’t even realize that cis people have it too! My BiL was recently talking about taking Cialis and Testosterone. I have a niece that just got breast implants and other cosmetic procedures. People going through menopause take hormones. Cis children with precocious puberty take puberty blockers so they don’t have to go through that at 8 or 9 years old. And cis people don’t have the self-reflection to realize that these are all gender-affirming care.

permalink
report
parent
reply
2 points
*
Deleted by creator
permalink
report
parent
reply
0 points
Removed by mod
permalink
report
parent
reply
10 points

lmao, you don’t need to take this very general statement so personally.

permalink
report
parent
reply
18 points

I was about to add “and how science backs it up as a real thing and not something people make up”, but given the timeline we live in, I don’t think it would make that much of a change :/

permalink
report
parent
reply

LGBTQ+

!lgbtq_plus@beehaw.org

Create post

All forms of queer news and culture. Nonsectarian and non-exclusionary.

See also this community’s sister subs Feminism, Neurodivergence, Disability, and POC


Beehaw currently maintains an LGBTQ+ resource wiki, which is up to date as of July 10, 2023.


This community’s icon was made by Aaron Schneider, under the CC-BY-NC-SA 4.0 license.

Community stats

  • 378

    Monthly active users

  • 689

    Posts

  • 4.8K

    Comments