Finally found the man I thought I would marry, but the breakup came out of nowhere and I’m struggling to cope. What are the ways you’ve dealt with heartbreak in the past?
It’s a duet. The lead singers of the two bands used to date. They never publicly said this, but I suspect it was about their breakup, and how messy and complicated breaking up with someone you love can be.
I overcame one of my hardest by doing more for myself, by myself, than I would have with her around. I gave up a lot to be with her, and after the break up, I decided to embrace the circumstances and strive for success despite her. I did it to prove that my life would have ended up worse with her than it turned out to be without her.
Both my own “method” and a suggestion if I can cut it down to essentials:
Watch yourself closely. Don’t fall into more traps. There’s a lot of load already and you’re not at your best. So don’t make it worse. No drugs, alcohol, bad relationships, risks, incel or other insanity etc. Keep a careful and steady life and focus on healing and getting back on your feet as they say. Deal with things as they come. Work on yourself. Do things you care about. Avoid stress and especially anger and hate as much as possible.
When you’re feeling stronger again, you might know if and what you want to get into.
Do cool shit, and be awesome. Living well is the best way to get over the life you you wanted but will never be. The one constant in your entire life is you, so the relationship you have with yourself is the most important relationship you’ll ever have.
So take a solo road trip. See that movie in the theater that you heard was great. Treat yourself to a nice dinner at that fusion place you were wanting to check out. Read and learn about the world. Take a class in that language you wanted to learn. Bake yourself fancy treats. Take on a new hobby. Make art.
To be the kind of person others will find awesome, you have to first become that person; in so doing, the pain of losing that ideal life you are mourning will slowly fade. It will never vanish completely, but over time the pain will become minimal, like rediscovering a tiny paper cut on your finger that you’d forgotten about.
I uh…
I’ve heard getting absolutely railed helps some people…
