48 points

jesus only approves of devices that can kill more than 100 humans per minute. praise the lord

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25 points

“Praise the lord and pass the ammunition”

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11 points
*

In fairness, I’ve always heard that quote in the context of negotiating with Nazis.

So this church seems a lot creepier than that quote, even.

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7 points

Exactly.

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3 points

Sword-mouth Jesus is going to look a bit out of place.

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20 points

Our religion is of love and peace and we’ll kill anyone who thinks otherwise -sincerely straight, white, American, Jesus.

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7 points

I always like saying “no love like Christian love”

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15 points

Its " there aint no hate like Christian love."

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30 points

European here. Could some kind spirit explain? Did that guy get a gun gifted for visiting church? Or did he visit church with a gun and it got somehow automagically blessed cos it was there with him? Sry, scratching my head over these rituals.

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49 points

It was some sort of Father’s Day contest or raffle and the winner got an AR-15. This isn’t even all that unusual.

If you search for AR-15 church, you’ll see a bunch of stories.

America is a very fucked-up place.

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23 points

This one isn’t all that far, geographically speaking from the megachurch down in Springfield that brings in tanks and armored vehicles for their conferences on “christian manhood” (pardon the reddit link…)

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7 points

In some real rural areas, you’ll have Sherrifs going up for election throwing raffles to buy votes, newer ideas are guns, but most of the time it’ll be meat (like a quarter of a cow, or maybe a full half if they have $ to throw around)

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4 points

Here was me thinking it would be +1 Vs Vampires or something.

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3 points

Only if you used wooden bullets.

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3 points

Thank you. Indeed it is.

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2 points

Yeah, I’ve taken to replacing ‘United States’ with ‘American Dystopia’ in my vocabulary. At this point I wouldn’t be surprised if Brave New World would offer a more pleasant life.

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73 points
*

Wasn’t Jesus supposed to be like, a pacifist? I also vaguely remember some bible verses talking about meekness and acting with kindness towards others, even your enemies.

But I guess that rhetoric doesn’t fly with the “alpha male” crowd who’s just itching for any excuse to shoot someone.

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48 points

Wasn’t Jesus supposed to be like, a pacifist?

Sometimes he was. (Matthew 5:9)

Other times he was “if you don’t have a sword, sell your clothes to buy a sword” (Luke 22:36-38)

.

That’s the “great” thing about the Bible, its got enough cobtradictions that you can make it support pretty much anything you want it to.

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8 points
*

Yep. That’s how I convinced a doctor to graft a leg into the middle of my back, so I can use it like a kickstand when I get tired.

Doc said no at first. When I told him Jesus said it was cool on page 148, he got me the best leg they had on hand!

Gotta trust in Jesus kids, you just gotta!

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3 points
*

Not only that, he was basically a socialist.

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6 points

I blame cowboys. More specifically, the old western movies. The good guys were just living their lives however they wanted without any gub’ment telling them what to do, and when bad guys showed up, you just blasted them.

I’m pretty sure, in reality, it was a pretty terrible time to be alive, but the movies make it sound like a libertarian utopia.

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15 points

The issue is that they don’t care. They don’t care if the Bible says anything at all about the subject their on about or even if it contradicts them. What the Bible actually says is irrelevant to them, it’s only what their glorious leaders pastors say it says matters.

The root of faith is authoritarianism, not any branch of morality or reverence or regard for history or their mythology.

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4 points

They’ve twisted parts of the Bible involving Jesus and swords to mean that they should be violent and hateful.

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3 points

You missed the verse that says AR-15s are a God-given right.

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2 points

It wasn’t Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden - it was Smith and Wesson.

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1 point

He also told his possy to go buy a sword before they headed out.

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1 point

Thats just a good friend.

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44 points

American ammosexuals are deeply fucked up

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17 points

Ooh, ammosexuals is good. I’m gonna steal that one.

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5 points

Share and enjoy; I stole it from someone else

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2 points
*

Nice thing about not being tied to the Cult of Capital. Free sharing of things… at least the things it hasn’t figured out how to enforce monetization of, yet.

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