August27th
“They’re never going to call a train to take us to the bad place. They can’t. Because we’re already here. This is the bad place.”
the developers of WeChat […] have modified the Transport Layer Security (TLS) 1.3 protocol, creating a version called MMTLS.
Man in the Middle TLS
“We will provide you with a tool to emit garbage and a platform to share content. If you put the two together, you are liable.”
Attractive nuisance much? Is it too much to ask that they should have to label it a garbage generator instead of “AI”? Why does honesty always have to take a back seat?
When a former employer sent me on business trips, the bean counters would complain that my descriptions for the purpose of meals on my expenses were not descriptive enough, as if the purpose of eating was not obvious. I ended up writing something like “nourishment to remain alive while traveling for XYZ project” out of frustration after that. That did the trick and shut them up. I suppose it was hard to argue that description, because if they disputed it, they’d basically be admitting they were sending me away because they wanted me to die.
Because wherever you go, there you are.
I grew up in a city of 1M, moved to a city of 100K, moved to a town of 7K, and then back to the city of 100K at my wife’s behest. I was happiest in the town, because it was uncrowded and affordable.
she explains that life in the city isn’t all that great and I ain’t missing out because most people aren’t more social in cities than in our town or small city next to our town.
Your wife is completely right, in my opinion. Quite frankly, it comes down to what you make of it. If you don’t make the effort to make friends, it doesn’t matter where you are, you are going to be lonely. The bigger the city, there is going to be a better opportunity to meet people of your type, sure, but the odds of getting together regularly, let alone finding them, are slim because everyone is busy working to afford where they are.
it would be awesome to have a gym in the same block, a grocery store under my flat, a nice bar or coffee around the corner where I could socialize with others. But then my wife comes again with reality: "And it all costs money.
You are right, it would be awesome. And your wife is right, that setup is expensive AF. The people living that life are trust fund beneficiaries. But you should know the coffee shop is just a whirlwind of all the other people getting in, getting their morning stimulant, and getting out to get to their job to afford it all.
The time to have the city experience that you are wishing for was more than 30 to 40 years ago, when houses were affordable, and there was more free time, so you could afford to get together, and the odds of other people being available was greater again, because they could afford it too.
Your fomo is not just for another place, but for a bygone era.
There are many things I also don’t like about the city, for example sometimes the smell, the homeless, the traffic, and I sometimes think I’d still need a car because of groceries, visiting family in the country side where I live now so I couldn’t sell my car anyways.
Please believe me that this is the reality of city life today. I’m so glad you notice it. All of it is wearing.
I visit the city to go shopping for clothes or just eat out I am always glad I can leave again. […] I was always happy leaving the city and I still am happy when I can leave after a whole day in the city
IMO, you are getting a taste of the wear.
I feel like I [am not allowed an] opinion on this subject and this makes me crazy.
This is really where the problem lies I think. You have a dream you can’t shake, but all external signs are pointing to it not being a good one.
Can I give you some perspective from your wife’s side? My wife is a bit like you, trying to move to a bigger center for dream reasons.
It drives me crazy when she talks about moving to a bigger center that is unaffordable, and is not what it is cracked up to be. She even knows it, but still insists. Her dreams are not founded in the reality of our times, but that’s just my opinion. And it is wearing to have the same conversation about it over and over.
From one married guy to another, if your sex life, home life, and job life is otherwise good, for the love of god, try to invest in inventing something social where you are already at, to fill that missing piece. The city is a shitty, expensive, noisy place now. If your relationship with your wife is good, and you trust your wife, just believe her, she has your best intentions at heart. If you have all of that, and live away from it all, man, I envy you deeply.
Sorry to hear that. My ex was neglected in a bunch of ways as a child, and both her parents are narcissists. She may never fully heal from that, but she is better now than when we were together, she took the time to focus on herself better. That said, I’d never go back to her in a million years, I will never be able to be the person she needs. I can see the person she was supposed to be, she can too, but there’s nothing I can do, the damage was done before I even met her.
Don’t feel pressured to reply, reply more, nor even at all if you aren’t feeling it. I understand, and you owe no obligations. If I got you amped up, I apologize. If I didn’t, don’t worry that I apologized. Just chill and take it easy. You take care of you, one step at a time.