Fun fact, this is why I got laid so much in Mexico. I took so much straight dong on that trip I should have gotten frequent fliers miles

I’ve mentioned it on here before, I think. It’s one of my favorite stories. The look on his face was absolutely horrific and hilarious. I asked him several times afterwards how his pregnant sinuses were. He did not find it as funny as I did.

But not from Tennessee.

🎶I got a brand new pair of roller skates you got skint you knees, let’s get to together and touch together our peepees🎶

I love telling this story, but I’ll warn beforehand it’s explicit.

! so, one time I was getting a blow job from this dude who was sort of newly out as bi curious. So, he asked if he could suck me off because he’d never done it before. Anyway, when I came, he didn’t pull off and decided he was going to swallow, and since he was still really new and nervous, I thought it would be hilarious if I said “no homo” when I came.

Unfortunately, he also thought that was hilarious, and laughed while swallowing. Ever seen milk come out of a kids nose in the cafeteria? That. But with spunk !<

I wish I had a way of letting mine out more frequently haha

We all know the answer to this. Alfred keeps a large supply of BatCoke for him in the Bat Cave

Can I know what that religion is?

Your brain is a confusingly, terrifying, beautiful place and I’m glad you just give out front row access like this.

I can’t find a source right now, because I just woke up and I don’t want to, so (Trust Me Bro, et al, 2024) but there’s a chance that quote is actually about Nazis!

A lot of French people referred to them as “the others” and would often speak sort of semi-codedly about them in writing and such so as not to piss off their new overlords. So that line may well not have been “I’m such an introvert that being around other humans is like being in hell” but instead “hell has delivered itself to my doorstep in the form of goose-stepping bastards”