Flushmaster
This is the kind of idea that makes a great joke character for a one shot but if you do it for a long term campaign I am pretty sure the DM is legally permitted to beat you with a nine pound salami.
Not at all, Konsi. Your skin is a very healthy shade of green.
Sounds kind of mild compared to things my roommate has heard me shouting in one bad accent or another.
Don’t overcomplicate things. Not every single NPC you meet demands a half hour RP session. I’m Bob, this is Sally, the guy in clerical robes is Father Steve, and the dude in the plate is Sir Dinglus of Berryvale. Yeah, he has a weird name but that’s apparently normal where he’s from. Off to the southeast somewhere. You folks have a nice day.
The biggest thing that irritates me from this is the implication that anybody is arguing for “historical accuracy” to medieval Europe in a setting that has dragons and goblins that shoot lightning from their fingertips. If, for whatever weird reason, the DM doesn’t want potatoes to exist that’s okay, but you’re not waiting for the Columbian exchange to bring them over from the Americas because the Americas don’t exist here. If you have a player character that’s a shape shifting sentient blob who casts illusions and is on a quest to seduce every milliner they can find then a plain tasting sausage made from fine ground questionable cuts of meat shouldn’t be seen as a stretch.
Additionally, as someone who majored in History in college, I can assure you that most people insisting on “historical accuracy” on any one or two things they learned from a tweet or a tiktok about are almost definitely getting fifteen other things wrong in any given session.
What really disturbs me about this is that somewhere out there is a living, breathing human who thought of it. I will probably never actually meet that person but the nonzero possibility of doing so shall henceforth haunt my thoughts and dreams forever.
You know you’re in the fun religion when your ecclesiastic superiors tell you to up your card shark skills.
Any result over 10 is better than “average” and means a typical person would more likely not notice someone with a 14. Such a result would be more like just a bit of armored elbow poking out from behind the tree. As the image shows, you may as well be saying that Formula One cars are slow because fighter jets exist.