JesusLikesYourButt
I have similar experiences with wanting to desperately be part of conversations, but not being able to expel the words.
Have you looked into selective mutism? Or being a highly sensetive person?
Are magic mushrooms considered to be a stimulant or a sedative? I thought they were hallucinogens.
EDIT:
Stimulant: an agent (such as a drug) that produces a temporary increase of the functional activity or efficiency of an organism or any of its parts.
Sedative: tending to calm, moderate, or tranquilize nervousness or excitement.
Hallucinagen: a substance that induces hallucinations.
Psylocibin: a hallucinogenic indole obtained from a fungus (such as Psilocybe mexicana or P. cubensis synonym Stropharia cubensis).
Again, I get where you’re coming from.
The reality of the situation is that a movement is full of factions. People aren’t a monolith and they think differently and feel differently. Jk Rowling considers herself a feminist, and she is an iteration of what a feminist can look like sadly.
Think of religious sects, they all fall under the same umbrella of Christianity or Judaism or what have you, but have radically different beliefs and feelings.
They get involved in protests and push their agendas just like any other group of people.
Or tankies! They fucking suuuuuuck and they are communist! I like communism by the way, but tankies can eat and then shit out some Lego blocks.