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numbermess

numbermess@fedia.io
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Had this conversation with my stepmom. She is complaining that peaches cost $1 each. She thinks this is too expensive and that the cost will go down now. I’m quietly kind of amazed that she thinks that she’ll even find a peach that didn’t rot on the ground for less than $10 or whatever they will cost once the labor goes up. I didn’t say anything to her about it because it just doesn’t matter anymore. It is pointless even to converse about any topic. We experience separate realities. She believes happy days are finally here, and I just don’t care if she sees another peach ever again in her lifetime. Whatever happens to the peaches is her fault.

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So this cowboy puppy comes in here and says: I’m lookin for the man who shot my paw

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I worked at a Red Lobster in the early 2000s and my job was to portion out “vegetable medley” into plastic bags. These bags were kept in big trays in the refrigerator, and they would be pulled and thrown into the microwave for a minute or so. They’d dump the vegetables out of the bag and onto the plate and then just throw the bag on the floor. Cleaning up after a shift was like bulldozing filthy plastic bags.

Olive Garden is/was owned by the same group, so I’m sure it was spiritually similar there.

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Would also like to stop hearing the word Unhinged. I don’t think it carries any value anymore.

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Do you know what a shit barometer is, boy? Measures the Shit Pressure in the air. When the Barometer rises, and you’ll feel it too, your ears will implode with the Shit Pressure. I tried to warn you, Bubs, but you picked the wrong side! Beware, the Shit Winds are a-comin!

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I have a feeling they’ll be worshipping her before the weekend is over. Maybe cutting up their own faces and chaining themselves to doors. They just need time to adjust, this development is weird for everybody.

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They’ll fall in line pretty soon.

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