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Think twice before lending money.

Something like counting sheep - but in reverse.

1. Count down from 100 to 0
2. Imagine each number ( like you are viewing in a calculator display or in any font you like )
3. External thoughts may come and go , consistently come back to the last number you have seen.

I usually wander in external thoughts for .5 or 1 sec and come back to the last number. Then, sleep somewhere between 50-30

4. For morning time / loud surroundings, use a White noise music. Low volume on a Noise cancellation earphone.

Reason for my depression : Life sucks and I knew it, from my childhood.

I feel better: When I am too busy to think about it. For now, work and family occupies my time mostly. I smile ( = cry ) when I see same depression pattern for my kid.

Imo, you should actively change your situation ( see a doc, have a hobby etc… more importantly, find positive in even small things )

Yeah, most people are. Some have the luxury of not thinking of it or have lower self expectations.

Edit : Listening to rattle my cage :)

Yes, I do small talk.

Sometimes I want to continue that relation. But, most times 1. I dont remember their face or parts of the talk 2. I just dont actively think about continuing ( Its like I have to put a remainder on that talk - quite dumb ? ) 3. They might be disinterested in the next time ( partly, I believe of silly way of expressing things )

Iosevka

Thanks, I do have curiosity about learning like most persons I know.

What kills my curiosity are :

1. Too much basics to learn
2. Inconsistency/Lazy zone/Comfort zone
3. Family/Kids

Its like most people’s attitude ( If I am in that better place/position , I will learn more. In current place, I have to take more effort so I wont try at all ! ). So, thats a part of my dumbness .

Thanks, that consistency is what I am missing . I used to write notes. But what-if-others-see-my-silly-notes feeling also there.

People are different. Even if 10000% perfect matches, there will be issues in between. Just give sometime.

Multiple solutions are there, like counselling. Understanding each other plays a big role. If you are parents, you gotta hell of responsibilities and less time for arguments.

Have privacy concerns, like “they” track my kid, but it’s good to find where is my kid now.