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28 points

Don’t forget the whole part about Jesus coming to the United States on a magic submarine, so technically the land belongs to white people because Native people are red because they’re tainted by the devil

This to not to be confused with black people being black because of the Curse of Ham

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16 points

Because Ham refused to look at his dad’s naked body while he was taking a bath, got it.

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12 points

Yes, the Curse of Ham is not a curse related to cured pork products. That’s an Italian curse related to the story of St. Anthony of Soprano.

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2 points
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Jesus teleported here, it was the jaredites that came in the submarine

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5 points

Thought it was the Mark of Cain

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9 points

That made the first vampire

Wait no, that’s Vampire: The Masquerade

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