checkmate Christians

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68 points
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Isn’t it kind of fucked up to teach your kids about Santa. Like you’re basically telling them that family didn’t do much gifting for them it was all Santa. Its better for the kid to know you love them and thought about them rather than lie to them and subvert your relationship

Anyways I’m going to the local mall to debate a phony Santa

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51 points

I do think about that a lot, and how not receiving gifts is explained as a consequence for bad behavior. As a kid, if you notice all the poor kids aren’t getting gifts, isn’t the obvious implication that they’re all naughty?

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36 points

Santa is just another part of the American Civic Religion that reinforces prosperity gospel. The rich children are rewarded by gifts from Santa while the poor are punished by being ignored.

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Naughty kids get clean-burning coal, the backbone of our Nation’s energy supply. If the poor kids would just save up their coal and start a Koch competitor, they wouldn’t be poor.

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new Ed Edd n Eddy episode idea just dropped

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28 points
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As a postal worker im also kinda annoyed with Santa. Mfer I busted my ass all month delivering presents and even the elves get more credit than me

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15 points

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5 points

I stand for the troops and salute the flag

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if you’re gonna lie to your kids, lie about fun shit Calvin’s dad would say.

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24 points
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Current parenting best practice is to have Santa bring one gift that’s not the penultimate best gift of the day. Helps prevent kids from realizing too early that Santa tends to favor the rich kids.

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8 points

Why specifically not the penultimate?

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That way the rich parents can still spoil their little shit but it wasn’t Santa that brought them the ps5 pro and little Billy the knock off retro console

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4 points

Santa brings our kids like socks and maybe some candies. Mom and Dad get that good shit.

“Aren’t socks like the worst gift dad?”

“No buddy, socks are the best gift, Santa knew you needed some.”

He knows I’m full of shit, but I do love a good pair of socks.

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Santa can’t make an Xbox at the workshop buddy it uses proprietary parts

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My kid is 4 and Santa is hitting hard this year even though we don’t play up the Santa stuff. The level of pervasiveness of Santa in American culture is huge. What I’ve started saying to her is: “did you know that anyone can be Santa? Sometimes mom is Santa, sometimes Dad is Santa, or grandma and grampa, and one day you’ll get to be Santa too.”

She gets all her ideas about Santa from media and other people. It feels almost impossible to avoid.

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12 points

At our house the big gifts under the tree is from family and loved ones. But each of the four Sundays of advent Santa puts small gifts in the children’s rooms at night and on Christmas eve he knocks on our door and leaves a bag of small gifts after they’ve opened the ones under the tree.

There’s also a Christmas fox who hides treats in their rooms in the afternoon on the 24th, which helps pass the time until Christmas eve and the big gifts.

That way we get both things. The kids know they are getting gifts from the people who loves them and they get the excitement of Santa visiting them.

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23 points

Yeah but why make kids do magical thinking? Its far better to teach them dialectical materialism and scientific rigor

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37 points

Getting my toddler several yards of linen for Christmas and writing “from a worker’s labor” on the tag

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6 points

Teaching your children about Santa is good because it makes them learn that figures of authority lie just for the hell of it and they should never be trusted

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I figured out santa was fake when I was 5 and the toys said made in China

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