I had very low hopes for this, and it was orders of magnitude worse. I guess there’s some device that becomes relevant for the climactic scene, but who cares? I don’t even know who the audience is for this, because anyone into Star Trek isn’t gong to see much here to work with, and anyone not will be put off by the branding.

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Bottom line? It isn’t about eras or shows or crews. It’s about hope for the future and overcoming obstacles to unity, which this doesn’t provide. I could call my van Star Trek; doesn’t make it so.

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