Someone I know shows stuff such as:

  • constantly needing a scapegoat
  • shifting blame/cannot take accountability
  • exaggerated mindset, often where other people are useless and they are the greatest
  • has to maintain a very positive public image, such as being the absolute best
  • does not have empathy unless it involves them or impacts their image in some way, if their image is supposed to be empathetic they will act so because of their image
  • lacks empathy for people in pain/bad mental health/etc. but their image might be very upset about that
  • will often be very nice to people in any sort of power

I’m asking because I’m genuinely curious if I should help, and maybe that even if they exhibit negative behaviors, they’re not a completely TERRIBLE person despite how they treat me.

You are viewing a single thread.
View all comments
26 points

First, I want to point out how much I HATE when people throw around the term narcissist for any general run of the mill asshole.

That being said, this person sounds like a narcissist.

Reminds me of my mom. And it took me about 30 years to figure that one out! Like you said, “they’re not a completely TERRIBLE person despite how they treat me.” It’s not easy to give up on someone that you are close to. Especially when, that other person is NOT MENTALLY ABLE to know that they did something wrong. They are shocked that you would overreact in such a way, after all that they’ve done for you! And they’ll remind you of the time YOU messed up, and besides, it wasn’t their fault anyway, you misunderstood/ can’t take a joke / shouldn’t listen to those liars who told you that.

There’s no hope here. Only pain. You can never show them the light, if you try to explain how they hurt you, they’ll get upset because you’re “being so mean to them”. And by the end of that conversation, you somehow end up apologizing to them. And wondering how the hell you ended up in this situation AGAIN.

Trying to teach them how to feel regret or guilt is like trying to teach someone paralyzed from the neck down how to walk. They just can’t do it, and insisting that they could if they just listened is just going to piss everyone off.

Hope my ramblings helped some. I’m sorry you’re in this position.

permalink
report
reply
4 points

People with NPD have to see they have an issue and want to change. Most never do

permalink
report
parent
reply
6 points

I’m convinced they are unable to. They don’t choose to ignore it, their mind never lets them know.

permalink
report
parent
reply
5 points

Yes, it is only when you realize that people don’t want to engage with you that you realize you might be the problem. Most never realize that.

permalink
report
parent
reply

No Stupid Questions

!nostupidquestions@lemmy.world

Create post

No such thing. Ask away!

!nostupidquestions is a community dedicated to being helpful and answering each others’ questions on various topics.

The rules for posting and commenting, besides the rules defined here for lemmy.world, are as follows:

Rules (interactive)


Rule 1- All posts must be legitimate questions. All post titles must include a question.

All posts must be legitimate questions, and all post titles must include a question. Questions that are joke or trolling questions, memes, song lyrics as title, etc. are not allowed here. See Rule 6 for all exceptions.



Rule 2- Your question subject cannot be illegal or NSFW material.

Your question subject cannot be illegal or NSFW material. You will be warned first, banned second.



Rule 3- Do not seek mental, medical and professional help here.

Do not seek mental, medical and professional help here. Breaking this rule will not get you or your post removed, but it will put you at risk, and possibly in danger.



Rule 4- No self promotion or upvote-farming of any kind.

That’s it.



Rule 5- No baiting or sealioning or promoting an agenda.

Questions which, instead of being of an innocuous nature, are specifically intended (based on reports and in the opinion of our crack moderation team) to bait users into ideological wars on charged political topics will be removed and the authors warned - or banned - depending on severity.



Rule 6- Regarding META posts and joke questions.

Provided it is about the community itself, you may post non-question posts using the [META] tag on your post title.

On fridays, you are allowed to post meme and troll questions, on the condition that it’s in text format only, and conforms with our other rules. These posts MUST include the [NSQ Friday] tag in their title.

If you post a serious question on friday and are looking only for legitimate answers, then please include the [Serious] tag on your post. Irrelevant replies will then be removed by moderators.



Rule 7- You can't intentionally annoy, mock, or harass other members.

If you intentionally annoy, mock, harass, or discriminate against any individual member, you will be removed.

Likewise, if you are a member, sympathiser or a resemblant of a movement that is known to largely hate, mock, discriminate against, and/or want to take lives of a group of people, and you were provably vocal about your hate, then you will be banned on sight.



Rule 8- All comments should try to stay relevant to their parent content.

Rule 9- Reposts from other platforms are not allowed.

Let everyone have their own content.



Rule 10- Majority of bots aren't allowed to participate here.

Credits

Our breathtaking icon was bestowed upon us by @Cevilia!

The greatest banner of all time: by @TheOneWithTheHair!

Community stats

  • 8K

    Monthly active users

  • 3.5K

    Posts

  • 139K

    Comments