Comment by ocean@lemmy.selfhostcat.com on life changed due to shrimp

do it for the animals that depend on you

a good message all around

papa bless

For real, sometimes the only thing that gets through my apathy is that I want my cats to live their best life

Have kids, same message.

Kids are a really big commitment in a different way because of the psychological and cognitive needs of the child, and it would be a lot better for the kiddos if the parents have their spoons together before the kid arrives. It can be very chaotic and damaging for the child if the parent is getting their stuff together during the developmental periods. This especially goes for pregnancy because mental illness and substance use during pregnancy can seriously affect fetal development in some cases and it can even lead to miscarriage or stillbirth if things aren’t sorted out fast enough.

So, maybe having kids might be more viable for fathers, but it’s still not a great idea because disengaged fathers can be damaging to both the baby and the mother.

Oh, absolutely. I tell everyone to not have kids, knowing that those who should have kids will just ignore me and have them anyway.

My point is just that a lot of motivation in my life comes from my obligations for my kids. It’s similar to having pets, but a lot more extreme.

It’s hard to have that conversation with a 17 year old who just gave birth to their second child. There’s children out here having children because we have fuckall for sex ed in this country and human instincts and desires aren’t going to go away. I have met pregnant teenagers that knew that sex before marriage was bad and would send them to hell, and that sex is where babies come from…but didn’t know that “sex” is when “he puts his thing into me where I pee from down there” because no one ever explained to her what sex actually is.

oh yeah, i remember, in school when i was 12 years old, a teacher told me “no holding hands because that’s immoral” and walked away.

no one ever explained to her what sex actually is.

I have a hard time believing this. 10s on any porn site would make that connection clear, and you could ask pretty much any 12yo and they’ll know what sex is mechanically, even if they’ve never looked at porn or had a sex ed class.

Regardless, I agree wholeheartedly that we need better sex ed and access to contraception and protection against STDs. People, especially kids, are really good at making justifications and convincing themselves they what they want to do isn’t technically the thing they’re not supposed to do.

that’s a ponzi scheme.

You have depression so you have 3-4 children to take care of. Then these children have depression again, again needing to have 3-4 children each to have some fun again. In the end, after 5 generations, you end up with 300 grand-grand-grand-grandchildren, and there is no more space, and they are stuck, and have to live with their depression.

Congratulations, you just multiplied your depression by about 300.

That’s a lot more than wallowing in despair will get you.

But yeah, don’t have kids if you’re depressed, they’ll just add a bunch more obligations and expenses, which will deepen whatever problems you have. Do have kids if you find happiness in seeing others succeed through your mentorship.

Do have kids if you find happiness in seeing others succeed through your mentorship.

or become a teacher, i guess?

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life changed due to shrimp(lemmy.blahaj.zone)

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