“but let’s be honest, who cares what some film nerd thinks when Metacritic and Rotten Tomatoes can objectively”
Do you even know what “objectively” means?
You realise the article is written sarcastically? It’s taking the piss out of people who’d base their decision on whether to watch a piece of media purely on a convenient numerical score. People that see 50% on Rotten Tomatoes and take it as an objective truth.