In theaters December 15th 2023

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27 points

For real, who seriously had the thought “you know what, we need another adaptation of that one book from decades ago. We could try adapting some of that guy’s other work, but why bother? I know we tried the goofy, fun spin and the dark, gritty spin, but I’m sure we missed an angle on that one kid’s book.”

More importantly how did the guy who had that thought not get kicked out of the pitch meeting immediately?

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19 points

I don’t disagree but

We could try adapting some of that guy’s other work, but why bother?

In recent memory Matilda, The Witches , and The BFG have all had unnecessary reboots. I’ll bet a James and the Giant Peach is next.

If anything, it’s time to leave his material alone now. there are enough new children’s books and stories written all the time, surely they deserve a shot?

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5 points

not get kicked out of the pitch meeting immediately?

Rehashing old successful movies is tight.

Wow wow wow.

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4 points

So you’ve got a new movie for me?

Yes sir, I do. But I thought this time we’d do an old movie instead of a new movie because old movies usually make more money.

Oh, remaking old movies for money is tight. It’s also literally the only thing we do here.

That’s right. So I think we should really go back this time and pull out something the audience wants to see. Something with tons of nostalgia for adults, but also something the younger audience will care a lot about.

I don’t think we have the money to remake Star Wars again so soon.

Nah, I thought we’d just do another Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.

What?

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1 point

This reads like something screenrant pitch meeting would do, I can even hear that dude’s voice!

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3 points

Wait, what book is this an adaptation of? This isn’t from either Charlie and the Chocolate Factory or The Great Glass Elevator as far as I’m aware.

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1 point

Is there a Charlie Cinematic Universe now? lol

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1 point

Can’t wait for phase 3

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