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155 points

Technically, SQL is case-insensitive.

Practically, you want to capitalise the commands anyway.

It gives your code some gravitas. Always remember that when you’re writing SQL statements you’re speaking Ancient Words of Power.

Does that JavaScript framework that got invented 2 weeks ago by some snot-nosed kid need Words of Power? No. Does the database that has been chugging on for decades upon decades need Words of Power? Yes. Words of Power and all the due respect.

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17 points

Reminds me a bit of Skyrim. You are… the query-born.

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9 points

I’m going to print this out and frame it on the wall of my office.

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5 points

SeLEct uSERnaMe frOm usERs WhErE fiRStnAmE = ‘John’;

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2 points
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This sounds like something James Mickens would write.

My favourite by him: The Night Watch (PDF)

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1 point
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My God, that’s hilarious, thank you for sharing it. I enjoyed “I am like the Statue of Liberty: I accept everyone, even the wretched and the huddled and people who enjoy Haskell.”

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1 point

Whoops, I accidentally deleted my comment. Here’s the link again for posterity: https://www.usenix.org/system/files/1311_05-08_mickens.pdf

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1 point
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