Work all week, too tired to do something fun. Corporate profits unreasonably high and now I can’t afford to engage in activities. Individualistic, nuclear family, isolation because communes reduce profits. Breathing poisoned air, drinking contaminated water, eating trash, refined food. Lost in a maze of suburbs, battling long transit times, alone in a sea of cars. Everyone’s left for jobs, or busy working jobs, no time to meet new people.
What is, like, the point?
Do we sit in his emotional wasteland, producing for an other, alone and without the energy to do anything but work until we get sick and can’t afford healthcare / are told by doctors the elderly are not their priority as they’re no longer productive?
These are my thoughts every day right now, and I don’t know how to get out of that depression loop.
I’m about a year and a half in remission from cancer. I started a new career to better my work-life balance and take care of my health. I thought surviving would give me a rejuvinated outlook on life, and I would “enjoy the little things” more.
No. When does that start?
Instead, I wake up every day thinking, what is the point? Who am I living for if I don’t have the time, money, or resources to do anything that brings joy to my life.
I’ll admit, because of my Christian upbringing, I have begun to wonder if this is Hell. Just enough hope for you to know that it could be better, but no memory of anything but this. There’s enough people not suffering (or at least pretending not to) to give hope, but no ability to ever change it. Isolation, pain, monotony, and just enough joy for most people to keep marching onward until they die, hoping that eventually it will get better.
If this is a recurring thought I would highly suggest pointing you towards Buddhism. I highly recommend the book “in the face of fear” Buddhist wisdom for challenging times. It has writings from all sorts of intelligent people, and does a good job of explaining how to transform them into tools.
