So I’ve realized that in conversations I’ll use traditional terms for men as general terms for all genders, both singularly and for groups. I always mean it well, but I’ve been thinking that it’s not as inclusive to women/trans people.

For example I would say:

“What’s up guys?” “How’s it going man?” "Good job, my dude!” etc.

Replacing these terms with person, people, etc sounds awkward. Y’all works but sounds very southern US (nowhere near where I am located) so it sounds out of place.

So what are some better options?

Edit: thanks for all the answers peoples, I appreciate the honest ones and some of the funny ones.

The simplest approach is to just drop the usage of guys, man, etc. Folks for groups and mate for singular appeal to me when I do want to add one in between friends.

You are viewing a single thread.
View all comments
87 points

A wise man once said, “I’m a dude, he’s a dudes, she’s a dude. We’re all dudes. Hey!”

permalink
report
reply
53 points
*

Strange though, that when you ask most men how many dudes they’ve slept with suddenly, she’s not a dude…

permalink
report
parent
reply
16 points

There’s a very big difference between “dude”, referring to someone you’re talking to, and “a dude”, referring to someone you were talking about.

permalink
report
parent
reply
-2 points

Not to me there isn’t…

permalink
report
parent
reply
7 points

Ive generally always agreed with the former comment, but I’ve heard this argument a few times and it does demonstrate the disconnect well. I’ve switched it up to a simple y’all.

permalink
report
parent
reply
8 points

Yep. Something that can only ever mean “neutral” or “man” isn’t neutral

permalink
report
parent
reply
3 points

That’s just how our language works. You can also use the word “fuck” in many ways that have wildly different meanings.

permalink
report
parent
reply
11 points

It’s funny how “just how it works out” always leads to “neutral” words having double meanings that equal “man” but never “woman”

Maybe it’s not “just how it works” and maybe it’s just bias…

permalink
report
parent
reply
1 point
*

As a former resident of San Diego I have no problem sleeping with dudes. Because everyone is dude.

People think they’re clever when they ask “would you sleep with the dude?” My response is " bold of you to assume that I haven’t." Everyone is dude. You can try to twist things as much as you like but dude normalization reigns supreme.

permalink
report
parent
reply
5 points

I was talking about the default assumptions people make when they hear the word. Your circumstances don’t come in to it, unless your claim is that most people share your experiences

permalink
report
parent
reply
6 points

Out of the mouth of babes… 🥰

I believe that sentiment was also uttered by another wise man. A man of his time. Mr. Jeffrey Lebowski.

permalink
report
parent
reply

Asklemmy

!asklemmy@lemmy.ml

Create post

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy 🔍

If your post meets the following criteria, it’s welcome here!

  1. Open-ended question
  2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
  3. Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
  4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
  5. An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

Icon by @Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de

Community stats

  • 9.6K

    Monthly active users

  • 5.4K

    Posts

  • 300K

    Comments