“Me hate shrinkflation! Me cookies are getting smaller,” the googly-eyed, furry blue muppet declared on X on Monday, tapping into an economic trend of the day. “Guess me going to have to eat double da cookies!”
The Count is going to start teaching kids about corporate profits. “One billion extra dollars untaxed! Ha ha hah! 2 billion…”
Oscar the Grouch is going to be a working homeless who is forced to move his can every week by police.
Oscar the Grouch’s living situation is basically aspirational now. “You can afford to live in a trash can all by yourself? Like, no roommates or anything? Wow!”
Have you never seen the inside of Oscar’s trash can? That place is a palace. He’s got an olympic size swimming pool in it. He also has an ice skating rink and a bowling alley.
I don’t think he’d explain. What, ah, do you think he’s talking about here, huh?
(FYI it’s an unnecessary censorship, so possibly NSFW.)
