“Me hate shrinkflation! Me cookies are getting smaller,” the googly-eyed, furry blue muppet declared on X on Monday, tapping into an economic trend of the day. “Guess me going to have to eat double da cookies!”
The Count is going to start teaching kids about corporate profits. “One billion extra dollars untaxed! Ha ha hah! 2 billion…”
Oscar the Grouch is going to be a working homeless who is forced to move his can every week by police.
Oscar the Grouch’s living situation is basically aspirational now. “You can afford to live in a trash can all by yourself? Like, no roommates or anything? Wow!”
Have you never seen the inside of Oscar’s trash can? That place is a palace. He’s got an olympic size swimming pool in it. He also has an ice skating rink and a bowling alley.
I don’t think he’d explain. What, ah, do you think he’s talking about here, huh?
(FYI it’s an unnecessary censorship, so possibly NSFW.)
Between this and Elmo asking if everyone is OK, it makes me happy to see these characters in the current zeitgeist!
Yeah I just wish it wasn’t because we need them to get a message to the white house
The Media has been bought and paid for. The real shock is that Elmo and Cookie Monster haven’t.
Cookie Monster is onto something: OREO Double Stuf Chocolate Sandwich Cookies shrank by 6% in size by weight from January 2019 to October 2023, according to a report based on Labor Department numbers.
Double Stuffed Oreos are the new regular Oreos and regular Oreos are now ‘go fuck yourself’ sized.
I like that honest branding. “Go fuck yourself Oreos”, “Eat a dick Craft Mac and Cheese”, “Piss-off sized Tide Detergent”…
Nah, the Piss Tide detergent variant is BIGGER for extra effectiveness when you’ve pissed yourself.
Piss Tide actually works historically.
The cookie monster receives better representation than most of us do.
And you’d think, with the democratization of fame, everyone would be famous, now. I mean, used to be if you wanted fame, you had to pack up and move from bumfuck nowhere and go to Hollywood, work as a waiter/waitress/whatever, and attend casting calls in your free time. Now, with the Internet and cameras that fit in our pockets we don’t even need to leave our houses.
Except that isn’t how fame works. Fame is actually a transactional process. The famous person does something in exchange for attention but they do not get attention unless they offer something the average person can’t- they’re prettier or funnier or a better actor or whatever. If you can’t offer that, it doesn’t matter if everyone has their own TV show. It only matters if your TV show is the one people want to watch.
Unfortunately, in general, their actual morals and ethics are not taken under consideration by a large number of those who give them the attention they want.
The Cookie Monster is Joe Biden’s new economic advisor.
