I met a girl that I’m interested in and enjoys comics like I do, would something like asking her out to a comic store be dumb? I have a hard time talking to girls so not sure if this would be a dumb idea.
That works for a hangout, but not for a date. That’s a good way to end up in the “friendzone” if he’s looking for a relationship.
I disagree. It’s not so binary, and taking the approach I recommend can show that you’re not too eager, more motivated by exploring shared interests and getting to know the person, and, in doing so, thinking about more than your own motivations. She will respond positively to that! And all of these are critical to developing a relationship.
And if she’s interested in more, that’s up to her. While on the social outing, there will be plenty of opportunity for the verbal and non-verbal exploration and expression of further interest, and patience will pay off. “Jumping the gun” by being too aggressive is always a turn-off. It comes off as desperate/insecure and/or sleazy. Nobody likes that.
Edit: grammar/spelling
I think my issue with it is that OP wants it to be a date. If it’s a date in OP’s mind, but he asks for a simple hangout, and she agrees, did OP get a date?
If OP thinks it’s a date and the girl doesn’t, then that’s setting up OP with problems down the line.
I don’t think it would come across as sleazy to make one’s intentions clear. Well, as long as it’s about a date, and not about sex, lol
I get where you’re coming from, but…
It sounds like these two don’t even know each other, so why start with a date anyway? Ask her out to the comic book shop and see if they click. Be chill. They can talk, get to know each other more, and get more friendly. Then maybe they’re hungry after all that comic book shopping, and then they go on a date.
No need to force things to happen so fast… women appreciate that.
Edit: Thank you for making me feel very old, btw
Buddy, when you raise the stakes this high before you even try, you’ve already lost because you come off as desperate and insecure. THAT is how you end up in whatever this “friend zone” thing is…
Why is it desperate and insecure to explicitly ask someone out on a date?
And if you’re not sure what the “friendzone” is, then how are you so sure about how to end up in it? Lol
Where did i say that? You’re trying too hard, and that’s bad advice to give, especially to someone who would best benefit from relaxing and taking the chill approach. Women appreciate a confident approach that doesn’t come off as too eager. Everyone appreciates that. Being too quick to try to define a relationship that doesn’t even exist can come off as desperate and demanding. Young (all) women want to make up their own minds, so let them! assuming that you know better, or that your needs or desires take priority is not only arrogant, it’s misogynistic.
During the outing, she’ll pick up that OP wants more than a friendship and if she wants more, too, that’s the direction it will go. And if that’s not what she wants, then so be it. OP will have to accept that and move on, and it will be his first lesson in respecting the wishes and decisions of a woman.
I kind of agree. I think its important to give a hint at what you want. Women pick up on this and it will save you some grief if for some reason expectations are misaligned. Its common for wires to cross if you are a newbie, and its not a demerit to be clearer about it.
Yeah, I feel like the advice in the original comment is the kind of advice I would’ve given and liked to hear when I was younger, especially because it’s easier to get a “yes” as an answer.
Without knowing the whole context and what OP actually wants, it’s hard to know what’s best.
But sorry you got downvoted, there’s a bit of a downvote train going on! Lol
