I met a girl that I’m interested in and enjoys comics like I do, would something like asking her out to a comic store be dumb? I have a hard time talking to girls so not sure if this would be a dumb idea.
not a dumb idea. just say something simple like: “Hey, i’m going down to [comic book store name]. wanna come with?” or “Wanna go to [comic book store name]?” be chill when asking, and smile. if she says “yes,” just say, “cool,” and make arrangements for when to go.
the best way to avoid getting all nervous, etc. is to keep it very simple.
good luck!
edit: btw, if she says “no,” stay chill and say, “ok, well, maybe another time,” then walk away. smile again because it’s cute. remember: she likes comic books, and you can always ask again, so no need to get too bummed out.
Edit 2: after looking at a lot of these other comments, I think I should mention, re: confidence— RELAX. Take a deep breath and don’t put too much pressure on yourself or the situation. The more natural it goes, the better.
Everyone here is giving advice that seems to try too hard, and I gotta say: don’t. If you’re more relaxed and pay more attention to what she’s interested in, you’ll actually be on your way to developing a relationship.
That works for a hangout, but not for a date. That’s a good way to end up in the “friendzone” if he’s looking for a relationship.
I disagree. It’s not so binary, and taking the approach I recommend can show that you’re not too eager, more motivated by exploring shared interests and getting to know the person, and, in doing so, thinking about more than your own motivations. She will respond positively to that! And all of these are critical to developing a relationship.
And if she’s interested in more, that’s up to her. While on the social outing, there will be plenty of opportunity for the verbal and non-verbal exploration and expression of further interest, and patience will pay off. “Jumping the gun” by being too aggressive is always a turn-off. It comes off as desperate/insecure and/or sleazy. Nobody likes that.
Edit: grammar/spelling
I think my issue with it is that OP wants it to be a date. If it’s a date in OP’s mind, but he asks for a simple hangout, and she agrees, did OP get a date?
If OP thinks it’s a date and the girl doesn’t, then that’s setting up OP with problems down the line.
I don’t think it would come across as sleazy to make one’s intentions clear. Well, as long as it’s about a date, and not about sex, lol
Buddy, when you raise the stakes this high before you even try, you’ve already lost because you come off as desperate and insecure. THAT is how you end up in whatever this “friend zone” thing is…
Why is it desperate and insecure to explicitly ask someone out on a date?
And if you’re not sure what the “friendzone” is, then how are you so sure about how to end up in it? Lol
I kind of agree. I think its important to give a hint at what you want. Women pick up on this and it will save you some grief if for some reason expectations are misaligned. Its common for wires to cross if you are a newbie, and its not a demerit to be clearer about it.
Yeah, I feel like the advice in the original comment is the kind of advice I would’ve given and liked to hear when I was younger, especially because it’s easier to get a “yes” as an answer.
Without knowing the whole context and what OP actually wants, it’s hard to know what’s best.
But sorry you got downvoted, there’s a bit of a downvote train going on! Lol
"Hey, wanna go on a comic book store date with me at [store name] on [day of the week]?
The ask, the expectation of a date (and admission of romantic interest), and a specific time and place. Don’t leave the question open-ended or vague. Then she can respond in a few ways: 1. Yes. 2. I’m not free that day; is there another day that we could go? 3. No thank you.
This makes everything as clear as it can be, with little room for misunderstanding. And it’s not a dumb idea at all to have a comic book store date. If you have a hard time talking to girls, don’t talk to girls. Talk to humans who happen to be girls. They’re people, and you’re a person too, so you don’t need to overthink it.
You got this! Good luck!
This is the way. Maybe add in “I was thinking of going there to shop for [comic store merch], and maybe getting one of the famous [food items] they make a few doors down at [food establishment], and it would be fun if you join me.”
Maybe she says no. Great! You can then mentally break up with whatever image of the two of you that you had in your mind, and go ask the next person. And if only one in ten says yes, that’s great.
She’s probably going to say yes and be super excited.
Has someone being awkward or a bit weird ever dissuaded you from having romantic interest in them?
The weirder the better. I don’t have any interest in basic people now that I think about it
It’s a good idea. You may want to plan a second activity like lunch or a walk in the park as well.
And just be direct. Something like “Hey, do you want to go on a date with me? We can grab something to eat and go to the comic store.”
If she says no, don’t push it. Just say okay and wish them well.
I too was terrible at talking to girls. I still am but my girlfriend doesn’t seem to mind lol
Whatever you do, just don’t try any pickup artist or smooth talking tactics. It’s gross and cringey, doubly so if you don’t have the confidence to pull it off.
I would also disagree with a lot of the other comments, if you want to date this person, make it clear you want a date. Don’t try to do the be friends then turn it romantic thing. It can work but not when you already know you want to date them.
I think the asking for a date right away strategy doesn’t really work with everyone. You can be already sure you want to date her, but she can feel she doesn’t know you well enough yet and asking directly like that could feel like you’re too fast for her. And it could close the door for you. It’s ok to get to know one another a bit before you go out officially.
Getting to know someone is what dates are for. If that closes the door they were never gonna work out. Don’t force love on people by disguising it. Life is too short for games.
I think it’s a cultural thing, if I meet someone in certain contexts it’s better to start with coffee or drinks after work and feel each other out 1 on 1, and in others like an app or singles event, just ask them out. I also guess some people would call the first thing a date.
From what OP wrote, they aren’t total strangers given he knows she likes comics. He sounds fairly young so I’m guessing she’s in his social circle or someone from school. If they were total strangers or just met for the first time, then yeah I’d say it would be a good idea to strike up a casual conversation or two before asking them out. You just really don’t want to develop strong feelings for them before you ask them out. It’s a recipe for pain if she says no, and can make things pretty awkward if they’re going to have to keep seeing each other regularly.
But also being wishy-washy can close the door for you too, such as if you end up in a friendzone from which you can’t escape. The difference is that if you are forward with your intentions, you are being honest. If you mask them because you are trying to build some rapport first before to get what you want, you are trying to manipulate them.
I’m a girl who likes comics. Do it. If you can find a nerdy shop with snacks, even better. Ask her about her favorite characters and have her pick out one for you to read, if you don’t know it. That would be an awesome green flag for me. Be careful not to get too serious/gate-keepy, though. An open mind is the best way to approach this.
Sounds like a good first date idea of she’s into comics. Meet in public, you have plenty to talk about - which comics you like, dislike, certain artists you might like the style of, etc.
